


Untitled

by Azul_Renge



Category: Bleach
Genre: Daddy Kink, Death in #3, GrimmIchi - Freeform, Guardian Angels, M/M, Non con sex in #11, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4100944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azul_Renge/pseuds/Azul_Renge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles and One shots of GrimmIchi! It's rated M and its Yaoi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. #2. The nerd and the playboy.

**Author's Note:**

> \--> The reason why this is #2 is because there's a #1 but I can't find it T^T I posted it on another website though. If I stop being lazy, I'll find it and post it here.
> 
> \--> I do not own Bleach, except for this fanfiction.

 

 

''Grimmjow-kun, you do realize how pathetically you are failing math right?'' I raised one eyebrow at my math teacher, Hirako Shinji. Of course I knew I was bad at math, but that didn't make me want to actually waste my breath at understanding it. I did well in other subjects, so it should cover up my final score, and it wasn't like I wanted to go to a great university or be top of my school. Just passing it is more than enough.

''Don't you give me that look, I'm your teacher, you brat,'' In what world did teachers call their students brat?

''I don't care about math,'' I reply, not even sparing him a glance.

''Seriously! You little piece of shi-'' Hirako seemed to be going into one of his bitchy fits when the door to the staff room slid open suddenly and Hirako coughed awkwardly to contain his words. Deciding to take a look at the presence that from the boring nag, I glanced at the kid before me who was tall enough to reach my chin and his scalp sporting bright orange hair. Kurosaki Ichigo.

His black rimmed glasses looked fugly as ever adorning his pale and gloomy face. He held a bunch of print outs in his hands and looked at the ground. I clicked my tongue at the sight before me. He's so puny.

''Oh, Kurosaki-kun, did you collect the print outs? Thanks!'' Hirako said cheerily while Kurosaki only nodded and put down the print outs on Hirako's table then he bowed. He was about to leave when all hell broke loose. More like, the can of worms in Hirako's brain broke loose.

''I have an idea! Wait, Kurosaki-kun, I need you to do me a favour.'' Kurosaki stopped in his tracks beside me and turned to look at our lunatic teacher. Hirako Shinji was grinning, this can't be good.

''Our Grimmjow-kun here, has been having a bit of a trouble with math. Would you please tutor him?''

_Oh fuck no._

''Wait, Hirak-Teacher,'' Hirako noticed the tongue slip but decided to let it go, ''I don't need help from someone like him. My other subjects are fine, so spare me this headache,''

''What do you mean by 'someone like him?' you numb skull, he's in the top 3 in your grade. Even if your other subjects are fine and even if your overall marks look pretty, if you fail one subject, you will be held back.'' He raised one nasty blonde eyebrow, ''You wouldn't want that now, would you?''

I want to strangle him so bad. Kind of sad that it's illegal, and unfortunately, he has a point.

I sigh, looking at the orange haired nerd. He was still looking at the ground, as if that's the most fascinating thing in the room. What a timid bastard.

''Well, Kurosaki-kun?'' Hirako asks and the nerd just nods.

When we are out, I'm about to head towards my classroom when I hear him mumble, ''Um, it's..''

I turn around, frown and a disgusted look etched on my face. Look at that slouch in his shoulders. Are you even a man?

''What is it?'' I sigh eventually when he remains silent, then he seemingly takes a breath before glancing at me once before he looks down again, what the hell.

''You can, you can come over to my place after school, for studying.'' He says and it takes my all not to just ignore him and forget that this whole arrangement was about to be set up between us. But just realizing that I would have to stay in this god forsaken place for another year if I did makes my mouth string words together, ''Sure. Where do you live?''

He looks startled. Well surprise! I am too, ''Here,'' He says as he takes a pen and a small notebook –seriously?- from his pocket and writes down an address then he puts it in my open palm. ''Go there after school.'' He says lowly then turns to head back into our classroom. I glance at the neat handwriting before crumbling the paper and shoving it in my pocket. What a drag.

I arrive at the Kurosaki Clinic and I take a deep breath, gathering all the energy to be able to survive through this hell with the nerd. I ring the doorbell, once, twice before the door opens to reveal a chestnut haired young girl. Her eyes are bright and wide as she takes in my appearance. The ear piercings must scare her, coupled with my blue hair, but she doesn't even flinch, just stares up at me with a bit of surprise.

''Uh, you are…?'' She questions and I reply, ''Kurosaki's classmate.'' I tell her and her eyes widen, ''Nii-chan's friend, you say?!'' She squeaks, her voice breaks at the end and I grimace, what was up with this child?

She smiles awkwardly before half bowing in apology, ''Please come in, I'll call my brother down,'' She tells me as she makes way for me to enter. We arrive at the end of the stairs when the girl calls out, ''Ichigo Nii-chan! A friend from school has come to see you,''

''I wouldn't really call us friends,'' I mumble but she doesn't seem to care when she calls out again, this time sharper, ''Nii-chan! I'm telling you that your friend has come to visit!''

There's a loud thud and the girl pouts, brows creasing into a frown, ''-coming, I'm coming, I'm coming'' The voice gets louder and louder until a man stops at the end of the stairs on the other side, his messy orange hair even messier and I'm honestly trying my best not to get shocked.

He's wearing black denim pants which hug his long and sexy-how did I not know?- legs tightly, the short sleeved white shirt is a perfect fit and reaches just until the waist line of his pants, the V-neck showing creamy skin enclosing beautiful collarbones. My eyes travel to his face which are rid of those hideous black rimmed glasses and I look straight into bright, brown eyes much like the girl but his are more velvety and alive. He's standing there with his shoulders broad and confidence oozing off of him. He's squinting at the moment and his lips are swollen –Why are they so red?- his cheeks are shining white and really, I wouldn't have known that this sexy and  _very_ fuck-able creature in front of me was Kurosaki Ichigo if not for the presence of those bright orange strands adorning his head, unless other people had natural orange hair too.

I watch as the corner of his swollen lips turn up into a smirk and holy shit, the cheeky little bastard.

''Were you sleeping?'' The girl asks and Ichigo turns his attention to the girl before croaking out a, ''Yeah,'' voice breaking deliciously and a dark thought of 'What would he sound like in bed?' crossed my mind but I shove it aside.

''Well, I'm going out. Karin and dad might be back in a couple of hours. There's food on the table so eat it if the both of you get hungry,'' She says then turns around, walking towards the door and Kurosaki speaks up, ''Wait, Yuzu, where are you going?'' This is the first time I'm hearing Kurosaki's voice so clearly.

''Jinta's place!'' She replies as Kurosaki climbs down the stairs, ''Wait, you can't be-''

''Don't worry, Ururu-chan and Kisuke-san are going to be there too! I'll be back in an hour,'' She says and Kurosaki is now standing right beside me and I try my best not to look in his direction. Seriously, what kind of a twist is this? Oh, but there was more to come.

''Okay, Sure, be careful,'' he says and the bass in his voice is very attractive. He's very attractive, wait-stop, go back. Don't be attracted to the nerd, this is all an illusion. But what if the nerd was the illusion? I shake my head to clear it. What in the world…

The door shuts and we are left alone in the house. One second, two seconds, three- ''Let's go into the kitchen,'' I hear from beside me and Kurosaki starts walking in the direction of said place. I follow him and on the way, I see him pick up his school bag from the couch in the living room. Did he leave it there so that he doesn't have to bring it down again, was the efficient Kurosaki Ichigo this lazy?

''Sit down,'' he says as he seats himself in one of the dining room chairs. I sit across from him when a notebook is slid into my line of vision, ''Those are some of the problems which appear in most of the tests, try to solve it now.'' He says and I look up at him looking straight at me with a piercing gaze. I open the book and honestly, it's like Greek and Latin to me. Well, it is. What the hell did I need to use a theta in my day to day life for anyway? I huff and sigh. This is gonna be hard.

A few minutes pass by before I look up at him again after attempting and failing to solve the first problem. He brought himself an apple and I watch him as he takes a bite of it, his jaw flexing and eyes fixed on the table, his chin jerks as he manages to bite a piece off and he starts crunching it in his mouth, his lips are not swollen now but they glisten with the sweet fructose, he then presses his lips together before he wipes a pink tongue across them, then he proceeds to take another bite. But this time, he stops midway and I frown, my eyes traveling to his brown eyes and I'm stuck because he caught me staring at him.

He leans forward across the table, never breaking eye contact. His finger taps on the notebook between my hands and then he says, ''If you are done eye fucking me, could you continue solving these?''

My mouth hangs open and there's nothing I can do anymore.

Kurosaki Ichigo, what in the world are you?

 


	2. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning; Angst and character death.

 

I love him, I have always been in love with him. He's amazing and he's just so beautiful.

His smile has always been my favourite, it lights up a gloomy day.

The thought had been on my mind for a long time, like bubble gum stuck to your hair, the desire to confess my affection for him.

However, I did not- out of the fear of rejection.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaques has had never been denied anything, and Kurosaki Ichigo has been the most precious person in my life ever since the first moment I laid eyes on those twinkling velvety brown orbs accompanied by the small crinkles around them, oh and the sound of his laughter which echoed through my mind for days to come, with me _desperately_  wanting to hear it over and over again- to burn it deep into my memory.

So, I did not dare to confess. I did not want to ruin the chance of getting together, or of him hating me. The fear of rejection gave birth to several sleepless nights.

One day, when I arrive at my classroom, I hear sobs. It's unsettling and a feeling of uneasiness settled in the deepest part of my gut. It feels like it rained indoors before I arrived there and hence, the entire atmosphere is damp. Trying my best to ignore it, I start to search for the familiar head full of orange hair, but he's nowhere to be seen.

Ichigo's group of friends are sitting at a desk, huddled up, some of them crying and some of them obviously trying to hold in their tears. The absence of the orange head only manages to raise the alarms in my head. Doing the one thing which I have never had the courage to do before, I went up to them and inquired about their friend, and my secret love.

They looked at me, eyes empty, ''He's dead'' They said, and I felt like the world fell apart.

It was suicide, they said. He had an abusive family and despite taking beatings on a regular basis, he managed to smile and laugh and made me fall in love with him. His life was hard. He didn't believe anything could help him and jumped off of a building.

Not a single tear escaped me since then and here I am, sitting in my bath tub filled with cold water which was chilling my very bones, suffocating in regret and guilt. So I exhale, I exhale and I slide down the stony cold tub into the stony cold water, muttering a silent, ''I love you, my dearest,'' loud enough that I can hear it, before I leave this world which no longer felt warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..Sorry? Also! Even though I wrote this, don't do anything to harm yourself please! I was feeling angsty so I let it out in this form, so try this method or talk to someone. I don't mind if you wanna talk to me either! Take more care of yourselves lovelies~!


	3. #4

 

The beeping of my phone alerted me of a text message received. I tap on my phone's screen twice and see the name off my husband light up along with the image of a mini mail beside it. I tap on that and instantly get the message, 'Dinner ready?'

I take a look at the stove and at the boiling miso soup. The rice is ready. I sigh as I type, 'Almost. Fifteen minutes more.' And press send.

This time, I hear the faint echo of a similar beeping coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. I hear a faint grunt. He must be hungry.

I hurry and as soon as I deem the soup cooked, I set the dinner table, the side dishes of pickled radishes and cabbage among other things and pick up my phone from on top of the kitchen island. 'It's done. Where will u eat today?' And send.

There is a bit of a fumbling before the door to the bedroom opens. I look at the tired form of my husband. He still looked handsome, but the dark circles under his eyes only managed to mock the sharpness of the blue of his eyes. He steps towards the kitchen counter with his laptop tucked under his arm, as usual. But it's not like I will ever say anything against it. After all, it has been months since we even sat down for a meal together.

He sits down beside me at the dinner table, not facing me as he places his laptop on the surface of the table right next to his bowl of rice and picks up his chopsticks to take a mouthful of rice into his mouth. He swallows it without chewing on it much and I remind myself to give him some liquids after dinner so that he could digest it well.

'Itadakimasu.' I utter, the only thing next to the constant 'click click' of the laptop keyboard keys which manages to break the palpable silence. Grimmjow halts as if the time he runs on freezes. It only lasts for a fraction of a second before he resumes eating. Well, swallowing.

I look at the time. Twenty five minutes have passed. I then glance at my husband's bowl. He has eaten it's contents along with the miso soup and most of the side dishes. The capsicum pieces went untouched as usual. If it were three years ago, Grimmjow would be asking why I even bother to add them in the first place, and I would tell him how childishly picky he was being. Thinking about the past makes my heart feel heavy and I exhale slowly, lifting my head up to Grimmjow. He isn't looking at me. Again.

I heave out a breath again before I get up and take both our bowls to the sink. I then fetch all the other dishes as well as the chopsticks made out of stainless steel, then the utensils I prepared the food in. Habitually putting the gloves on, I turn on the tap, lost in my own thoughts as I pick up the utensils one by one and start to coat them with dish washer soap. Without fault, I already assume Grimmjow has returned back to our bedroom to continue his work so I'm surprised when I feel a chest barely touching the expanse of my back. I almost sigh at the faint, barely there warmth, but I hold it in. It's a habit to hold in things these days.

A hand lands on the counter to my right and I put the bowl in my hands down. A deep, boyish voice greets my senses then, ''Why do you stay?''

Goose bumps rake the expanse of my body and I might have revelled in the feeling of his breathe against my neck, hell, even him speaking to me if not for the wound his words have managed to cause to my already bleeding heart.

My eyes widen, tears threatening to fall and I turn around, craning my neck to look into his eyes, to look if he means what he just uttered, what he has just let out of his lips.

''Ichigo, why do you stay?'' I had managed to piece my heart back together after all this time. I learned to breathe underwater, I learned to stay away from your lips yet, how, with a single sentence, you manage to make all my defence systems weaken? I can feel the pain in my chest, I can feel the pressure in my lungs, making it hard for me to breathe without trembling ever so slightly and it makes it all the more impossible for me to not want you to lean down and take me into your arms, to hug me, to kiss me and to tell me everything will be alright again.

''Shut up.'' Is what I say, a sheen of moisture already forming over my eyes. He sees it too, he has always hated me crying. I remember him always saying how much my smile resembles the sunshine and crying just makes me look ugly. I almost laugh, but the raw emotions displaying in Grimmjow's eyes make me shiver with a mixture of fear, anger, impatience and betrayal instead.

He doesn't have to say anything anymore. He doesn't need to. So I softly push at his chest, trying to make him leave, ''Go away,'' I tell him, head hung low, voice obviously trembling and I turn around, ''I'll bring you some juice or something. Go.''

But instead, I feel strong arms encircle me, they are hesitant at first, so unlike Grimmjow, but in the end, with a trembling force, they hug me close to their owner. I feel my husband bury his face in the crook of my neck. His breath quivers and a tear rolls down my cheek. What the hell, he made me cry.

''Don't do this to yourself, Ichigo.'' He whispers and it makes me want to laugh. But only tears manage to make their way past my lower eye lids. ''Don't –hah-'' He stops for a few seconds before I feel my shoulder become wet with one single droplet of tears. ''Don't stay with a jerk like me.''

''You are a jerk,'' I say chest tightening. ''You decide to speak to me in two months and this is what you say, you f-fucking bastard.'' The arms holding me tighten.

''I'm sorry.'' He says and I hang my head low. The hell are you even saying? Why this? Why now?

Another tear rolls down the heated skin of my cheek and I hold in a whimper. Shitty shitty bastard. I hate you so fucking much! ''Don't you fucking dare try and leave me.'' I say quietly after a minute or two and Grimmjow lifts his head up. He lets me go and I take off my gloves and throw them roughly into the sink before turn around to face him.

My heart breaks at his appearance. He looks so sad. Don't look so sad. Grimmjow…

I move my hand up to his face and cup the side of his face in my hand. He leans into my touch and some kind of relief flushes into my chest. But the look in his eyes doesn't go away. He looks as if he hates himself and I would rather die than make him feel that way.

''Don't do this.'' I tell him, trying to make it alright. It might never be, but I refuse to let go of my partner's hand. He wets his lips. ''You too.'' He responds and that is the limit before my hand softly slaps across his cheek. Another tear rolls down my cheek.

His eyes are wide as he stares at me, ''If-if you are worried because of that slap five months ago, then that's my revenge. Is it okay now?'' I ask him, voice trembling. I watch as Grimmjow frowns, his eyes narrow and then be wet with tears before he breaks down right before my eyes and falls on his knees, palms covering his face. He cries silently, I note. Grimmjow is always loud when angry, blatantly expressing his opinions. But he is silent in his sadness and pain, as if wanting to disappear from the world's view for as long as he's hurting.

I bend down and place my hand on Grimmjow's shoulder, worry making my gut turn. No, don't be like this. I can't see you like this. It's not your fault.

''I-I hit you! Ichi, I hit you!'' He says finally, panting and trying to catch his breath and my grip tightens on his shoulder. I want to do something to reduce his pain and helplessness consumes me and I start to cry.

''My precious baby, I hit you! I i-ignored you! Because of work, because of my damn work, you have to live like this. I hate myself! What have I become,'' I move closer to hug him in an awkward position and rub his back softly.

''Grimmjow, Grimmjow..'' I repeat to get his attention, ''I was never mad, alright? What's a slap when we have broken each other's bones in high school before? It's okay, Grimm, stop crying, Grimm..''

''I love you..'' He says and I hug him closer.

''I know.'' He moves his arms around me and hugs me back. Guilt made him this lifeless. Did you really regret that accident so much that you stopped talking to me?

''It was a mistake, Grimmjow. That pressure you got from work…I get it. I admit, I was shocked but I couldn't get angry…You were too tired and I know you won't take any of my excuses but I want to let you know, that a silly thing like that doesn't belittle the love you shower me with.''

I take his head in my hands, ''Just stop feeling guilty. For better or for worse, yeah?''

Grimmjow straightens up and leans towards my face and places a kiss on my cheek. ''I don't want to live without you.'' He says and I feel my heart leap. He looks straight into my eyes and continues, ''I promise to make it up to you.'' He kisses my other cheek, ''I want to see you happy.''

That night Grimmjow promises himself to be a better lover. He promises himself to fill their house with their laughter again and hold Ichigo closer to his heart and make him smile like the sunshine.


	4. #5. Did you fall from Heaven?

 

'' _Your human needs you, Ichigo''_

''WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHH, IMGONNADIE IMGONNADIE!'' Ichigo screamed his lungs out painfully and tears prickled at the corners of his Earth brown eyes while the wind worked against his body in a failed attempt to push him upwards as he continued his rather emotionally torturous fall from the sky.

Yes.

That is not an unfortunate typo.

You read right. Congratulations.

He is, in fact falling from the sky, because Ichigo is a  **guardian angel**.

But Ichigo never left heaven before and he wasn't familiar with the process of 'landing' on Earth. He was surprised when the higher ups had told him that his human was in need of his help and promptly pushed him off of the highest standing cloud. The pressure on his body was so intense as he got pulled down by uncle gravity's unwanted love that his wings just couldn't adjust to the unfamiliar pace of things. Still, he tried to move his fluffy white appendages in hopes of surviving the fall to even get to meet his human much less actually begin helping him but it didn't help and fear started building up in the orange haired angel's tummy when one after another, his feathers started getting plucked out by the wind and now, he only had half of each wings of the pair on his back.

It would be an understatement if he said he was scared to death.

He really didn't understand anything going on and wished for his survival, but the gradual loss of his wings' body, the only thing he knew capable of saving him, only managed to make him panic beyond hope.

Through his tears, Ichigo watched as the last of the clouds parted, grazing his fair and pure body and a beautiful, green meadow filled his line of foggy vision. He braced himself by barricading his front by crossing his arms across it with clenched fists and shutting his tearful eyes tightly. He knew he was nearing the meadow. He knew he was near the ground now and he clenched his jaw, afraid of the impact, yet trying to be ready for it.

**It never came.**

When he opened his eye lids, his brown eyes widened and his lips parted in amazement when he saw pure white feathers float around in his line of vision. He realized a little too late that those were  _his_ feathers and he looked down where he was sitting on the grassy ground to see the remaining of his feathers cushioning his butt. He turned his neck and looked at his back as best as he could only to find it bare of his wings. He concluded that somehow, the remaining of his wings cushioned his fall.

His eyes perked up when he remembered his senior, Abarai Renji, speak about his experience of 'landing' and how his wings just disappeared to make him look human. He thought it was absurd. How can an organ just disappear? And so, Ichigo had concluded that the red head was bluffing because even plucking one feather hurt a lot. It was similar to plucking off your entire nail off your finger.

But then again, this time, it didn't hurt. His back wasn't hurting and his toes weren't curling in pain.

Huh.

However, Ichigo was an angel of priorities. He quickly gets up and dusts off his black ripped skinny jeans.

What. Can't angels be interested in looking fashionable too?

Ichigo straightens his shirt, then wipes at the wet corners of his eyes and clicks his boots on the slightly wet ground scattered with his white feathers as he takes in his surroundings. It appears he is surrounded by trees. He doesn't even know if this is a forest or what and he has no clue as to where he must go in order to find his human.

He realizes he shouldn't have slept during his 'Learn about Earth!' classes even when his teacher Keigo was being extremely excited. But then again, it might be precisely because of Keigo-sensei's gross excitement that he decided to sleep during a relatively important class.

He wants to sigh, a human gesture. But angels can't sigh because when a human does it, it has purpose as it is a call for his or her guardian angel. When an angel does it, it only reduces a day of their human's life. The old man really wanted for his angels to be happy and not give into the need for help so much that he made these rules apparently.

Ichigo inhales deeply and looks at the sky.

_**Where should he go? Just where is his human?** _

Grimmjow woke up yet again feeling like he shouldn't have. Despite this, he robotically gets up and gets in his school uniform. His mother calls him for breakfast and his family eats silently yet another morning with his father reading his newspaper and his mother glancing around tensely all the while with a worried frown on her lips. He grits his jaw at this, hating his mornings at home even further. He especially hates being treated like a fragile object who might break at any moment under very little pressure.

The eighteen year old teenager gets up and hurries to his school. The falling petals of bright Sakura blossoms do not lift his spirits or lighten his heart like it has done to several other people taking the same path as him. He trudges past the student body and then enters his class. He sits at his desk then he falls asleep.

 _**Because** _ _**nothing** _ _**is worth staying awake for.** _

Okay! Ichigo has managed to find civilization. But it's still very early in the morning and there are very few people around, that is until hoards of people start attacking the streets. Ichigo misses the quiet of heaven right then, but decides with determination that he is not there for a vacation so his discomfort or his longing doesn't matter right now.

Then it occurs to him how extremely  _hard_ it will be to find his human among all these humans. His shoulders don't slump despite this. He only has hope. He is an angel after all. So all he does is wish for his dear human to sigh. He wishes for his human to call for him.

Ichigo still wanders through the streets in search. He admits he is a bit anxious because he has no idea how he will recognize his human even if he does find him. Ichigo was born fifteen days before his human. This is how it always works, a guardian angel is born before his human does and for those angels who fail to come into existence, their human will not be born either. It is like the angel protects their human even before their birth and without their existence, the human won't even be able to step into this world.

Even Ichigo's name pertains to this; Ichi – One and go – Five.

However, despite this deep connection between two beings who have never met, it is precisely that: They have never met. Ichigo doesn't know anything about his human. All he does know, is that his human is a  _he_ and that Ichigo exists only for him.

Ichigo doesn't get tired, but he does decide to get some alone time from the busy streets so he can calm his mind. Everybody here is so busy to even spare a glance towards anything other than ahead. Ichigo enters a park with beautiful pink leafed trees and slumps on a wooden bench. He stares at the falling petals with simple adoration in his eyes. He can practically hear the happy cheers of the trees with his presence. A pretty petal falls on his lap and he softly touches it, making it  _glow_ for a brief second.

Then he hears it. A soft scream that tugs his head towards it's source.

''What is that?'' He mutters softly looking at the small, grey creature clawing at a tall branch, making the tree scream in pain.  _A cat, a cat, a cat- poor soul- it climbed her- oh no- a cat!_

Ichigo heard the various murmurs overlapping each other and stood up. He walked to the pained tree and put a warm hand on her trunk, ''It's okay, I will help you. Please bear with it for a minute.'' He says with his most charming smile and all the other trees giggle and chuckle pleasantly.

 **''** _**An angel is among us~'' One particular tree sing-songs.** _

School ended for the day and Grimmjow stands up after packing his bag. He walks out of the classroom, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular while his mind bangs at the doors present at all the dark corners of his mind. He mentally shakes his head and tugs his bag over his shoulder as he exits the building.

A loud shout promptly stops him in his tracks and his eyes flicker to the familiar sound of bat hitting a ball. His eyes widen as the ball flies high into the sky and loud cheers bring his attention back to their school's baseball field, where several kids his age belonging to the baseball club to which he himself formerly belong to rejoice in excitement at the homerun.

But seeing their smiles and crinkling eyes only managed to make the corner of his lips turn down and managed to make his young heart to be filled incredible longing to the point of bleeding. The pain was unbearable, especially when only months ago, he would have been the one to hit that homerun. He would have been the one to win the National championship. He would have been the one to make his parents proud. He would have been the one to smile as his heart swelled with incredible happiness instead of- instead of this self-loathing and longing and  _ **Hopelessness!**_

They ate away at his young and pure heart, making him feel ugly about himself. He was self-destructing and he couldn't do anything about it when he felt that doing so was the only  **right** thing about his pathetic, pathetic life.

Uncharacteristic wetness grazed his eyes and he ran. His legs worked and he ran as fast as he could. His heart was beating rapidly and his lungs  _burned_ with the lack of air. His body still hasn't recovered completely and he shouldn't be running but to hell with it all! He needs to run and he will damn well run his life out!

However, he can't do that. So his legs finally stop in the middle of the Sakura park he always passes through to get home these days. Only because other students don't go through here while going home, instead choosing to go through the streets filled with arcades and pastry shops.

He pants and huffs to gather oxygen into his lungs. It had been a long while since he last ran like that. It cleared his mind somewhat and he feels like he's finally breathing, although physically, he's certainly having some trouble.

Grimmjow brings both of his hands in front of him, as if asking someone for something and gazes at both of them. They used to be so efficient, and a single mistake ruined it all. If only he hadn't gone in front of that car. If only he had waited a little longer, he would still be playing baseball, dreaming of becoming a National level player. But now, these hands are useless. He clenches his hands into fists.

The refreshing feeling his heart got filled with just now transforms into something heavy and ugly again. He feels absolutely disgusted with himself. But hating oneself, no matter how comforting it feels during times of grief, hurts. It  **hurts.**

He tries to exhale the bad feelings before it consumes him. Before he does something he further regrets….but what is left for him to even regret about? Every thought leads to this one fact. To a person who has always dreamed about one single thing his entirelife, when that one single thing is ripped away from him, what is he left with?

The bad feelings twirling in his stomach make him nauseated and he sighs deeply in an attempt to let them out.

In that next instant, something heavy falls into his outreached arms from above and he almost falls with it;s weight on him but he tries to balance it out by placing his weight on his calves while is arms reflexively contracted towards himself, unintentionally bringing the heavy thing in his arms closer to his torso. He falls to his knees and a bunch of Sakura petals fall on him like a mini shower.

''What in the world-'' Grimmjow breathes out and his eyes falls on the thing- _ **man**_ in his arms who in turn has a soft mewling cat in his. The man's eyes are closed shut and lips are drawn into a thin line. His skin  _glows_ while his cheeks are flustered into a shade of pink. And….

**He has orange hair.**

Ichigo somehow climbed the tall tree and clung to the heavy branch using all four of his limbs. He slowly made his way toward the cat and called out to it. It continued scratching and digging his claws into the tree's branch while the tree whined in pain. ''Shush…It will be okay'' Ichigo reassured the tree and placed his hands on the cat's warm back covered in soft fur. The cat halts it's actions and Ichigo rejoices. He moves more to the cat and finally grabs his tummy with both his hands lifting him up to his chest while he cradles the branch. The tree gasps and thanks him again and again. Ichigo only smiles and stands up bravely on the branch clearly forgetting something amidst the relief he feels. He takes one step into the mid-air out of habit and his other foot slips behind him. Then he remembers that crucial detail.

**I don't have my wings.**

Ichigo expects to fall harshly into the ground and hugs the cat into his chest, not wanting the little creature to get hurt. What he doesn't expect is to fall into a pair of arms and so when he opens his eyes and his gaze fixes onto blue ones staring back at him, he freezes and his eyes are wide.

**Oh.**

Ichigo just knows. Unmistakably, the loud beating of his own heart, the strangely  **Familiar** warmth that he feels from this human and the way his body unconsciously inches closer to the human's chest. He knows. The ringing in his ears tells him. The tingling in his toes tell him and the almost deafening silence of the trees tell him. He has met his  **Human.**

 **And he's so** **beautiful** **.**

Grimmjow's only snaps out of it when his arms begin to hurt. The brown of the male in his arms' eyes made him forget himself for a moment. His heart was pacing softly while he found himself lost for a few moments but now, it resumed it's erratic and loud thumping yet again. But strangely, Grimmjow felt at peace. His mind wasn't frantic like it was before and the constant anxiousness gnawing away at his insides subsided for a bit. He's breathing again and he can't look away from the boy in his arms.

However, he can't hold onto him any longer as his shoulder screamed at him in pain and he decides to slowly set the boy on the floor only to stop his movements when the boy's features grimaced in pain as his foot touches the ground. He hisses in pain, closing his eyes shut. Grimmjow frowns. He realizes that the boy might have sprained his ankle. Also, he wanted to look at his eyes again.

So, despite the killing pain, he managed to bring himself to stand up while bringing the boy up with him in his arms and he paced towards a wooden bench. 'Just a few more seconds' He told himself and bit his lips to contain the pain before he set the boy down carefully on the bench, grey cat still in his arms.

The boy opens his eyes and looks up at Grimmjow. He might be reading too much into this but Grimmjow thinks that that has to be adoration in the other's eyes. It felt like it and the teenager feels himself relaxing under the boy's warm gaze until a smaller hand grabs his and blue eyes widen. He tried to snatch his hand back but the boy's grip only tightens around his hand.

''What is your name?'' The boy whispers and Grimmjow thinks for a few moments before he finally answers, deciding, what's the harm?

''Grimmjow.'' He says and in the next second, the orange haired male's lips stretch as an extraordinarily beautiful  **smile**  blooms across his face. At that moment, Grimmjow felt secure. He felt like he could stop worrying and being frustrated and sorrowful if only he could see that smile embraced in purity ever again.

''I'm Ichigo. Nice to finally meet you, Grimmjow.''

Grimmjow doesn't even notice the word 'finally'

''And thank you, for catching me. It would have hurt a lot if I fell from there.''

Then it hits Grimmjow.

''Oh right, what the hel-'' A finger lands on his moving lips, making him freeze yet again.

''Don't say that word.''

_What the hell?_

''What were you doing that you fell from above?'' Grimmjow tries again when Ichigo removes his finger from his lips.

Ichigo smiles again. Grimmjow melts a little.

''I was trying to bring this little one down.'' He says and I glance at the fur ball in his lap. Curled comfortably and nuzzling it's face languidly into Ichigo's belly.

_How reckless._

Just then Grimmjow's phone starts to ring. He wishes to take it but then, his hand his being held down by the other's. So he motions towards it, asking him to release it. Ichigo gasps and releases his hold on Grimmjow's hand mumbling an apology and Grimmjow refused to acknowledge his disappointment at the loss of contact because they have just met for God's sake!

He shouldn't be feeling the way he is right now.

_**But he can't help it.** _

Ichigo stares at his human-  **Grimmjow** , with awe as he brings his phone to his ears and speaks to the person on the other end. He finally met him. He finally met him!

Ichigo watches as the expression on Grimmjow's face turns into something sour and he frowns sadly. It breaks the guardian angel's heart.

He starts to wonder the reason he was called here. What happened to Grimmjow that he actually needed his angel to land on Earth for him? He had to find out somehow. But to his disappointment, when Grimmjow ends the call, he looks at his angel one more time, pinning him with an exhausted look before turning on his heel as he sprints away, even before Ichigo can call him to stop him. His leg isn't making this any better.

It takes just a minute before the trees start gossiping.

_It's that kid- the sad one- Oh no- The one who looks like walking dead- worst luck-Poor kid- I pity him- Is it true?- He's always sad- I saw him crying once- How horrible-_

''Wait!'' Ichigo almost yells, and the murmuring stops.

''Do you guys know something about him?'' He asks the trees who were his only hope at this point.

The trees whisper among themselves before he gets an answer from the one who he had just helped.

_All we know is that he started going through this place for the past two months. He doesn't have any friends. He looks lonely and sad. So very sad. We always shower him with extra petals but he doesn't even notice. He looks at his hands longingly for some reason._

The tree whispers softly and Ichigo's heart sinks further. He has an almost desperate urge to run after his human and help him in anyway and every way that he has to.

_Are you going to help him, Angel-san?_

A child like voice interrupts him and he smiles softly.

''Yes. That is what I exist for. I'm his guardian angel after all.'' Ichigo replies confidently.


	5. #6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a prompt from a friend. She wanted 'basketball with some lemon and a pinch of smut'. I'm sorry, this is my first time cooking with smut, and I seemed to have added too much. Probably burned it? Which brings us to the warnings.
> 
> WARNINGS. Smut, smut, Daddy! Kink, smut, basketball, smut. Be kind people.

 

''Call me daddy.'' Grimmjow, my boyfriend 'instructed' me as he looked down at me with a smug smile taking over his handsome features. I should punch him in the face for even saying that out loud. I should, but my throat is going dry and my hard cock is throbbing painfully and really, the bastard really does know how to corner a person during their time of weakness.

How did I end up in this situation anyway?

'' _Let's make a bet.''_  Yes. That's right. It was that day.

 

 

Grimmjow and I are childhood friends, neighbours, schoolmates, classmates, basketball club-mates, you name it. We are together to the extent that people comment that we might be attached at the hip. Speaking of hips, I have been in love with Grimmjow since nearly a year now. Random, I know, but you know how love's like that? I see the sky and I'm reminded of Grimmjow, I see carrots and I'm reminded of Grimmjow, I see a basketball and I'm reminded of him. I imagine hips and I'm reminded of Grimmjow.

This sounds so cheesy I feel like Rukia's going to ride a plane from Hong Kong to Japan just to rub my face in it, oblivious the pain of a person in love. I'm glad she's gone for her student exchange programme. No, actually, I take that back, since it was at that point that all of this was set in motion in the first place.

The girl who came to Karakura in Rukia's place, her name's Sui Feng. She's usually very quiet, and we had normally assumed that it was because of the language barrier. Until one day, when she spoke out, dropping a dynamite at the same time.

Our high school's basketball team is pretty famous, mainly because of the third year players. Even among the third year players, mine and Grimmjow's names were pretty heard of. Grimmjow's the captain while I'm the ace, whatever the minute difference in our abilities was. We won another game against a private high school's team that day before and we were bombarded with excited congratulations the next day at school.

It was all fun until Sui Feng opened her mouth. ''So, who's better at the game between you two?'' She spoke in perfectly fluent Japanese.

It was like everybody froze in their spots for a few seconds, trying to recollect their thoughts and flow with the current conversation until the kids started debating verbally as they stated who they think was better and why.

''Kurosaki's obviously better! Have you seen his three-pointers? That's skill drilled to perfection right there!''

''No way dude! Kurosaki might be a strong player, but nobody can beat Jaegerjaquez' raw power! Just take a look at his dunks! You must be crazy if you think Kurosaki can beat  _that!''_

Grimmjow stayed silent during the whole mess, narrowed eyes fixed on a random point while I knew he was in serious thought. That day, we fought for the very first time.

 

 

One week.

It was golden week. For one week, we didn't contact each other. Ridiculously, it was also the longest time we stayed without seeing or hearing from each other. I didn't come out of my room after the third day. It was ironic how you know the importance of something- or someone when they are away. I was already in love with Grimmjow at that point, but it scared me how attached I had become to his presence. He had been in my room for so many times that everywhere I had looked, I was reminded of him and his absence.

Keeping pride aside, I tried contact him on the fifth day. But he beat me to it.

''A one on one,'' He had said.

''Let's decide who's better.''

The first key had turned then. That evening, we met at the school gym, which was allowed for the school's top players on request. My heart ached for some reason when I saw him greeting me without a smile, brows furrowed and eyes ablaze. I loved him when he was like that to the opponent but I absolutely detested it when I was the object of that gaze.

A question came to me then, a dangerous one; What was I to Grimmjow?

The game had started, the sound of the ball hitting the floor every other second like a second heartbeat. Muscles flexed instinctively and joints folded into practiced positions. I found myself feeling nervous for the very first time playing my favourite game. It was Grimmjow. My opponent was Grimmjow.

We bickered a lot, but this was our very first actual fight. It made me fear of the consequences. The hesitations I had developed when I started longing for Grimmjow's touch as more than a friend's has had grown into every fibre of my body and instilled something within me which made me hesitate every decision, made me fear irrationally. It was  _doubt_. What if this is the last day we spend together? What if our friendship breaks? What if he hates me for loving him? What if- These 'what ifs' slowed my steps, and the ball slipped from my hands multiple times.

Basketball is my passion, but Grimmjow was  _everything._

I played so sloppily, I wanted to cry right then. The internal conflict and the doubt made my aim miss the hoop while Grimmjow scored points up on points while I was internally breaking apart. Grimmjow was leading by ten points which is a horror truth be told. I couldn't even perform half as well as I usually did.

Right before shooting the ball and scoring another inevitable three points, Grimmjow's arm relaxed and the ball slipped from his grip, falling and taking the remains of Grimmjow's will to win along with it as it bounced off until coming to a stop in a corner.

Grimmjow turned around so fast I thought he might have broken something. He rushed onto me and grabbed the collar of my loose black tee. He held on and pulled so hard I had to stand on my toes to accommodate the giant.

''What the  _fuck_ do you think you are doing?'' He hissed, breath fanning over my cheek in hot angry bursts.

''What are you..'' I trailed off, frowning, despite knowing full well of what he was talking about. My hands gripped his wrists tightly. Grimmjow had never directed so much anger at me.

''You know what, Ichigo! Why are you playing like crap today?!'' He pulled me even closer, our chests bumping and if Grimmjow weren't holding me, I would have fallen down flat on my ass, ''Are you going easy on me?''

''No!'' I replied instantly. One of the things my best friend and I had in common was that we both had prides as big as Antarctica. We both hated losing but if the opponent was a tough one, we enjoyed the game. For us, the most detestable thing to occur was if the opponent was purposefully going slow and lowering their abilities. It pisses us off and I know it's the worst thing we can do to a person, much less to each other.

''Then what is it!'' He barked out and I bit my lower lip, breath hitching at the familiar voice gaining the angry tone and I averted my eyes, suddenly feeling guilty. I couldn't tell him the truth, but the way I had played that day was unfair to the both of us.

A moment of silence passed before Grimmjow tugged at my collar, ''Look at me.'' Slowly, I raised my gaze and looked up at him through my bangs. He didn't look angry anymore, instead he looked impatient with a soft concerned look in his eyes, ''What's wrong?'' He asked me as he slowly released his death grip on my collar and set me down, his hands settling on both of my shoulders.

I was unconsciously pouting, I realized and pressed my lips into a thin line. I was feeling a whole roller coaster of emotions at the moment and none of them were healthy. I was going insane with doubt and worry and it might had been showing on my face because Grimmjow's grip tightened on my shoulders.

I didn't want to lose him.

But not speaking wouldn't be fair to him. I am a brave man. I can do this.

''I-I wasn't..-It wasn't that I was going easy one you.'' I said but had to stop because a lump of emotions got caught up in my throat. ''I just- Grimmjow, I don't want to- I, uh,'' I realized that the part of my brain which made up words was malfunctioning and I would have snorted if I didn't feel like I would be jumping off a cliff the next moment.

Grimmjow was uncharacteristically silent throughout all of this and my eyes remained on his collar bones. I sigh internally. This wasn't going well, obviously. I finally looked up at him and my lips parted, wanting to say something before anything terrible happens to our relationship. ''Grimm, I'm sorry.'' Was I could come up with.

He frowned deeply, obviously confused and I looked down again. A frown creased my forehead and I couldn't remember how to breathe properly. When had dealing with Grimmjow become so hard?

''Ichigo, look at me.'' He said yet again and this time I refused, doubt had been gaining control of my body. A hand forced my chin upward and my eyes widened at the face closing in until a pair of lips brushed gently against mine.

When he had leaned back, his blue eyes were bright. Then he leaned back in before I could have said a word and this time, he tilted my head so that our lips were pressing more evenly and deeper. I gasped because right then, my brain decided I was lacking oxygen and Grimmjow took in my upper lip between his. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides and my heart exploded for the hundredth time when he kissed and kissed and kissed my lips, soft lips brushing against mine with a gentleness accompanied by Grimmjow's characteristic intensity.

When we finally parted, I gawked at him unbelievingly and after  _finally_ finding my words after a few seconds had passed, I asked him, ''W-What was that about?''

It turned out, Grimmjow had already known about my 'little' crush on him. He at least had a hint on it. Turned out, even better that Grimmjow felt the same. Grimmjow had always been smart, sometimes it bordered on cunning but he was pretty perceptive. I had thought that I had been hiding it well but the bastard had already known of it months earlier. He didn't have any form of doubt clouding into his mind and I hated Grimmjow's confidence on these type of things but loved it at the same time.

After kissing for five more times, he gave me a chance to explain myself, more like demanded an explanation and like hell I would have told him all of what I had been feeling right then after all that had happened but then again, when he hugged me close, his chin resting on top of my head and arms locked around my waist protectively, I was reminded then that I was in love with my best friend. Someone who would understand me and be there for me through anything and so I told him of the doubts and hesitations that I had.

He had listened carefully and looked down at me after I had finished speaking. A tiny smirk was playing on his face, ''I thought it was about something else. I'm kinda glad now..'' He said and leaned down to peck me on my lips again, as if reassuring me that he was there now and I fought the blush threatening to spread on my face.

A year of harboured feelings and a month of accepting our new development later, we slept together. It had been almost desperate since we had practically known each other all our lives and the feelings of  _want_  which had developed within us and built up had burst like a bubble. It was mind blowing to be honest.

 

 

A week later was it that Grimmjow brought up an unfinished subject.

''We need to finish that game.'' He had said.

''Let's make a bet, Ichigo.''

The bet contained one wish. The loser grants the winner one wish.

I was ready this time. I was at my best game and the venue was chosen to be a park. It was around eight at night when we had started the game, the lights provided by the overhead lights sharpened each contour of the basketball ground and my every sense had been sharp. Right before the start of the game, it occurred to me that I was playing against Grimmjow. Previous doubt morphed into competitive spirit and confidence.

My eyes narrowed, adrenaline pumped through my body and it gave me a rush to think about playing against one of the strongest players I know. I never had the chance to undermine or overestimate anything when the game started and the ball was exchanged in turns between two pairs of hands. What I didn't imagine at all was Grimmjow's desire for that one wish.

Soon enough, a smile took over my features as I had started to enjoy the game. Grimmjow was indeed strong, the way his body moved so swiftly against mine and the way his feet followed his every demand left me with awe of his abilities. Especially, his towering height made me wonder during a time-out about just how our opponents felt when he was on defense.

At this point we were pretty much even in our scores. Sweat dripped down in beads from my forehead and down the side of my face. I pulled the collar of my shirt to wipe at my mouth and readied myself for the last round.

On second thought, I should have been more careful after witnessing that sadistic grin on Grimmjow's face.

The ball bounced into my hand and I dribbled it with practiced ease as I stepped towards the hoop, Grimmjow trying to block my every attempt at shooting the ball through the hoop. I raised my arms, left hand palming the ball and right wrist ready to push the ball into the target I desired when I felt a hand on my waist (which is pretty much a foul) and then my eyes were directed to Grimmjow's blue eyes. They were so bright and clear that I was momentarily distracted. The ball was snatched from my hands so fast that before I had turned around to follow Grimmjow's movements, Grimmjow had already reached his hoop and dunked the ball in.

''Jaegerjaquez!'' I yelled, unbelieving at what I had just witnessed.

He turned trying to master an innocent look on to his features which was failing epically.

''You bastard, that's a foul!''

The asshole smirked and looked at me like he was looking at a five year old ranting kid. Oh, how much I had wanted to punch that look off his features right then, too bad now he was my boyfriend. Well, not  _too_ bad.

''You can't take it?'' Grimmjow asked and my jaw fell open. He did not just cheat, but he was challenging me to defend against his cheating. I should have stopped myself right then, I shouldn't have fell into the trap- ''Bring it on.'' I replied with a smile of my own- I fell into the trap.

It was fifteen seconds later when the ball was grabbed from my grip yet again, this time with our faces inches apart and I had panicked thinking Grimmjow was going to kiss me but all Grimmjow wanted right then was the fucking ball and he grabbed it the instant my grip slacked and threw it into his hoop.

The most unfortunate of the whole deal was that Grimmjow had won. It had been the last ball.

I couldn't even say anything after stupidly accepting his moronic challenge.

I was mortified, to be honest. Grimmjow was usually a fair man, he liked to start and play on equal terms, only trying to win with pure ability. So I was almost terrified of the wish he had had for me. What did Grimmjow want to do so bad that he would trick me into losing?

We ate at a nearby snack van then headed home an hour later. Grimmjow lived alone, both his parents worked in America. I took a bath before Grimmjow and plopped down on the familiar bed. Arms sprawled out on the soft mattress and feeling more than comfortable in Grimmjow's large tee shirt.

I sighed contently, momentarily forgetting about losing (which was not really losing) and the bet until Grimmjow had been hovering over me, eyes glinting with something dangerous. ''Grimm?'' I questioned and he leaned down to kiss me, I gasped into the kiss and he put his tongue in my mouth, hands roaming across my chest and drawing out moans from my mouth. He was aggressive, but I couldn't say I had hated it. His knee then pressed against my hardening cock and my hips bucked while I had closed my eyes tighter, and an impatient groan escaped from my lips.

He pulled back, our lips were red and bruised and he continued to stare at the mess he had made out of me. I was about to ask why he had stopped but he beat me to it.

''Call me daddy.'' He said and my heart had nearly stopped, my eyes widening and jaw slackening in disbelief.

 

 

Which brings us to the now.

 

 

''Grimm, what are you sayi-''

''That's my wish.'' He says, leaning down until our faces were inches apart and I could feel his breath on my cheek. He wasn't touching me though, and I wanted to squirm under him, to get some type of contact but I controlled myself before I embarrassed myself. ''Call me daddy.'' He said, voice deep and hot.

Heat was pooling in my lower abdomen and I resisted the urge to moan.

Grimmjow tipped my chin up and planted a very wet kiss on my lips before he pulled back and moved to my neck, nibbling on the skin. ''Grimm,'' I whispered and he pulled back almost instantly, ''Bad boy,'' he cooed, ''What did I tell you to call me?''

I didn't want to, I swear I didn't want to, but his fingers and lips were leaving my skin and I wanted  _more._

''D-Daddy.''

It should have been incredibly mortifying, but instead, I was getting turned on, which in turn is mortifying.

''Daddy what, baby?'' He asked, still hovering above me but not touching me in anyway, but the smirk playing on his lips stretched and the dark glint in his eyes only deepened. I knew then, Grimmjow was stubbornly going to get whatever it was that he was wanting and I knew I couldn't give in. I couldn't let him.

Right then, Grimmjow moved his hands to lift up my shirt off of my chest, bunching it up to my neck. He put both of his hands on the bare skin of my hips as he leaned in to kiss me again and my resolve crumbled into pieces when he pulled back, hands retreating, along with the burn of his fingers on my skin as he places them on either side of my head. ''What do you want, baby?'' He asked and I try to hold in a whimper but it breaks out of my lips anyhow.

''I-I want you to touch me,'' He narrows his eyes, '' _Daddy_.''

He grins while he leans forward, ''What bad manners you have, Baby. You have to beg for what you want.'' He says the last bit right next to my ear, lips ghosting over the shell and I shiver. My body was already beginning to go out of my mind's control.

He pulls back again and his eyes roam over my bare chest. I can feel my hardened member pressed against my pants and I want to get off  _so bad._ I wanted Grimmjow to get me off and I bite my lower lip before giving in with a pathetic whine of, ' _P-Please,_ daddy, Please touch me.''

I can see Grimmjow trying to hold in a grin but it doesn't bother my pride as much because I was horny as hell while Grimmjow teasing me was only managing to rile me instead of making me get annoyed, and the thought of regretting this later doesn't even cross my mind. Grimmjow leans into my face, our noses bumping, ''Where do you want daddy to touch you, Ichi?''

''My chest…My nipples daddy..'' My breath hitches when I hear my own voice and Grimmjow's eyes narrow down, ''How should I touch you, Ichigo? You should tell daddy clearly.''

''P-pinch me, daddy, then suck on-them, p-please?''

Grimmjow smiles and I feel relieved when he lowers himself down my body and when his finger brushes across my left nipple, I moan. It feels incredible. The heat of his fingers leave a tingling feeling wherever he touches my skin.

I anticipate it and a loud moan breaks away from my lips when he pinches my left nipple roughly between his index and thumb, making it hard. I squirm because it's just the  _right_ kind of pain and I try to buck up my hips to get  _some_ kind of friction, but Grimmjow holds my hips down with his free hand, supporting his body on his knees. ''Bad boy.'' He says, ''Control yourself baby, or I will have to punish you.''

I lick my lips, not knowing how to respond, because I wasn't hating the idea of what this 'punishment' might be but then I don't get the time to internally debate because Grimmjow bends down and takes my hard nipple into his mouth, gently licking it as a contrast to how hard I was pinched. I start to lose my mind when his other hand goes to pinch my right nipple hard while he now starts sucking my other one. I arch my back, dick painfully throbbing and fingers clenching around Grimmjow's white bed sheets.

Moans escape my lips and I want more.  _More_ than this and I knew how I could get more.

''D-daddy, mah- my – touch me more,'' I plead and I would have scowled at myself in any other instance but I couldn't care less at the moment.

Grimmjow leans back and looks down at me with a blank look. ''Please, daddy,'' I say and his expression still doesn't change.

My heart nearly stops when I hear the next few words come out of Grimmjow's mouth.

''Finger yourself.''

I couldn't stop myself from tugging off my pants and boxers, hissing when my dick was free. I reach out to the lube in the drawer and coat my fingers down before my middle finger probes at my entrance when I part my legs on either side of Grimmjow. I didn't understand why I was so desperate to get off, but I knew if I did this, Grimmjow would give me what I want. I knew he would give it to me  _only_ if I did this. I couldn't believe the amount of restraint he was exhibiting, totally opposite to me in the present.

I take a deep breath and push my finger in, knowing Grimmjow was looking but it was turning me on instead and I didn't stop till I buried my finger into my entrance to the hilt. I moaned when I opened my eyes and found Grimmjow staring intently at my entrance. ''D-daddy!'' I hissed when I started to move my finger, not even registering what I was uttering, the only things on my mind being the faint pleasure from the fingering elevated from the fact that Grimmjow was  _looking._

Not finding the stimulation from one finger to be enough, I add in a second finger, a slight sting accompanies it and I whine, my hips bucking from the uncomfortable feeling. ''You are doing good, baby. Keep going.'' Grimmjow encourages me and I move my fingers in and out slowly, trying to get used to the feeling. I scissor my fingers, preparing my entrance for what was about to come but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find my prostrate. ''Daddy,'' I whine, ''I-I can't- Daddy,  _touch me.''_

''Okay.'' He says and I blink up, ''Take them out.''

I slowly take out my fingers and moan at the friction they cause. I'm panting by the time I take them out completely and Grimmjow kisses me on my lips, gently.

''You did good, I will reward you. What do you want Ichi?'' Grimmjow asks when he pulls back. I stare dumbly before my lips are moving on their own, ''I want your cock inside me, daddy.''

Grimmjow smirks knowingly, ''Do you like daddy's cock, Ichi?''

I nod fervently, ''I love it!''

What was  _happening_  to me?

''Okay.'' Grimmjow smiles into the words and lifts up one of my legs, fingers curling under my knee and he rests it on his shoulder. He places three of his fingers at my lips and I suck them into my mouth, coating them thoroughly with my saliva before he takes them out.

My breath hitches when Grimmjow adds not one but two fingers into my entrance at once but it feels so  _good._ I feel full and I wiggle my hips trying to make Grimmjow go deeper. ''Eager boy, you are acting like a little slut, Ichi.''

I moan in reply but I don't stop my movements. Thankfully, Grimmjow adds another finger and my back arches off the bed, knees trembling and toes curling. He moves his fingers in and out, and when he curls them, the tip of his fingers brush right  _there_ and I throw my head back because I feel like I could come just with that.

Grimmjow teases me then, purposefully missing that spot before he adds a fourth fingers and I nearly scream, clutching on to Grimmjow shoulders.

''G-Grimm, please..''

''Do I have to remind you again, Ichi?''

I grunt at the feeling of his fingers filling my entrance. I wanted something bigger and fuller. This was like torture because I knew Grimmjow's cock was so much better than this.

''Answer me.'' He says as he hits my prostrate and I see stars.

''Da-Daddy! I'm sorry, daddy. Please.. _Please just-''_ my answer fades into a moan as I writhe underneath my boyfriend.

''Please what, Ichigo?''

''Fuck me! Please  _fuck me_ , daddy! I want your cock to fill me up, please!''

Grimmjow takes out all of his fingers and I whine at the loss. Then I'm forced to sit up on my knees before Grimmjow shoves my head down between his thighs, his bare cock filling my senses. ''If you want it, then prepare it, you slut.'' I would have been offended but dirty talk was making me hornier than it should.

I open my mouth and lick at the tip of Grimmjow's cock, lapping at the pre-cum. I drag my tongue from the base of his huge cock to the tip before I take it into my mouth, sucking softly into the head. I could sense Grimmjow wanting to shove his dick up into my mouth when his grip tightens around the strands on my scalp and I drop lower until half of his cock is in my mouth. I slowly bob my head up and down and a dangerous thought occurs to me as I imagine Grimmjow's cock thrusting up my ass.

My entrance tingles and I pull my hand back and push three fingers into my entrance, moaning around Grimmjow's dick. Grimmjow grunts as he pushes my mouth lower onto his cock and I push my fingers just as deeper. My nose is filled with Grimmjow when I pull back, pulling my fingers back as well before I push back in, taking Grimmjow's dick to the hilt while simultaneously burying my fingers to the hilt in my asshole.

''Do you like that, Ichi? Are you imagining daddy's dick up your ass as you suck on it, baby? Is that what you are doing?'' Grimmjow questions and I moan my reply, making Grimmjow chuckle darkly.

''What a dirty little slut we have here, you must really want my dick. Should daddy give it to you?" I moan around Grimmjow's dick, sucking harder. Grimmjow stops me though, pulling my head back up and off of his dick and he says, ''On your back.'' His voice stern.

I lay down on the tousled up bed sheets and look up at Grimmjow looking at me, ''Spread your legs.'' I move my legs apart and Grimmjow settles in between them and holds up both of my legs over his shoulders. I hold in my breath as Grimmjow leads his cock to my entrance and gasp when he starts to push in, filling me up satisfyingly.

He pushes in slowly and I grip at Grimmjow's shoulders, moans escaping unbidden from my lips. ''Deeper,''I groan, ''Much  _deeper_ , daddy,'' Grimmow grunts and pushes in more, till I can feel his hip bones against my ass cheeks.

He stops for me to be able to adjust as he kisses me on my lips, then moving onto my chest, sucking and nibbling. I whine, wanting him to move already and he chuckles, ''Eager boy,'' He says and pulls out his cock nearly completely out before slamming into me. I almost yell at the amazing feeling, wanting to feel more of it, but Grimmjow stops before pulling out terribly slow and slamming at once. This goes on for a few more times with my moans gaining volume and I plead, '' _Please,_ daddy, please, harder, faster, p-please- _ahh!_ D-daddy! _''_

Grimmjow thankfully increases his pace, going deeper thrust after thrust until his cock hits my prostrate and I scream this time, yelling Grimmjow's name. Grimmjow slows his pace right then and I blink up confusedly, he's looking at me with narrowed eyes and I realize my blunder, ''I'm- I'm sorry, Daddy!  _Daddy_ , please don't stop,  _please_ , I want your cock to fill me up with your milk! Pl-Please! Don't stop! Daddy,'' I'm whining now, ''Please, I'll do anything! Anything! I'll be a good boy. Daddy, please-''

''Anything?'' Grimmjow asks, thrusting slowly into me.

''Yes!'' I reply, gripping his thighs tightly.

''Then,'' he says, pulling his dick out completely, and I groan at the loss, ''Ride me baby.''

My lips part and without hesitation, I climb up into Grimmjow's lap and lower myself into his dick, moaning as I go lower and lower and his dick fills me up completely till the hilt.

''Are you happy, Ichi?'' Grimmjow asks when I start to move, going up and down his dick, moaning into the crook of his neck, ''Y-yes! Daddy's cock is so  _good!_ I love your cock in me, daddy! I love it so fucking much!'' I throw my head back when Grimmjow thrusts his hips too, trying to match my rhythm, ''What a slut my baby is. Bad boy, I'll punish you next time.'' I moan at Grimmjow's stern voice, hands locking around his neck, ''Tell me what you are feeling, Ichi, tell me what you want.'' He rasps.

I hold on to him tightly as I feel myself near my climax and I moan into his ear, "I- I want daddy-to fill my ass with- with his- _ahh!_ With his-cum!''

I feel Grimmjow's hand go around my dick and I moan louder, nails scratching across Grimmjow's naked back. Grimmjow strokes me to completion and I curse into his ears, cumming on my stomach and ass involuntarily clenching around Grimmjow's dick. Grimmjow grips my hips then and pushes me into the bed, thrusting into me without a care as I am still riding the wave of my climax. I feel over sensitive and my body trembles when Grimmjow continues to abuse my prostrate even after I have cum and then he's cumming with a grunt and I feel like I have reached my climax twice. We are both panting heavily and Grimmjow pulls out and collapses beside me on the bed but only after giving me a good kiss on the lips.

A few minutes later, I open my mouth to say -more like- to curse, "That was...I'm gonna kill you, asshole."

I watch Grimmjow grin, "You loved it. You love me." He says. I snort as I turn onto my side and curl up to his side, draping my arm over his torso, "I didn't know you had a daddy kink."

"Apparently, you do too." He says and I pout my lips unconsciously. "But it was hot." I say. As if that justified anything that had just happened. Maybe it did.

"So you cheated our game just for this?" I ask him and he grunts disapprovingly.

"It wasn't cheating, I would have won anyway. I just wanted to hurry the process up since you aren't half bad." I sit up hastily, "You little shit-" I start to say but Grimmjow pulls me down, cutting me off as he plants a kiss on my lips and positions my head under his chin, "How about another game then, Kurosaki?" Grimmjow asks, smile palpable in his tone of voice.

I nod. ''Let's make a bet?" He says. I smirk.

"Fuck yeah."

Because it takes two to play a game and besides, I may or may not be into kinky sex.


	6. #7. Little Red Riding Hood. Pt.1

 

''Ichigo, your grandmother is sick, dear.'' I look up from the path of soil which appeared as I was shovelling the white winter snow out of the way before the front of our sleeping garden. My mother, with her long wavy caramel hair framing her fair skin, looked even paler than she already was compared to the white background around her. A soft frown etched her face and I put the shovel aside, gently taking hold of her frail, cold hands. ''Mother, you cannot visit her this winter. It's too harsh for your already sick health.''

''But dear, this might just be the last winter which she spends in this world, and she's all alone.'' She said, frowning even deeper and weak body trying to suppress a shiver. I lead her inside the warmth of our small house and let her sit on the soft cushioned chair by the fire place, the heart of our humble abode. ''Then I shall visit her.'' I say, kneeling on the floor before her and never letting go of her cold hands, if only all the heat in my hands will become her possession, ''I shall bring her our home-cooked bread and the wine made out of the grapes grown in our very own farm, I shall stay by her bed side for a few days then I will return to you.''

Mother gives a weak, but warm smile which was full with love, ''My kind child, my beautiful sweet child,'' She says, gripping my hands tighter, ''Thank you, that would be wonderful.''

I smile heartily, standing up and letting go of her hands, ''I will gather all my things then, mother. I will leave in the morning, when father returns home so you won't be alone.'' Then I return to my previous task of clearing the path for our home, to welcome father from his long trip from the neighbouring village.

In the morning, as I head into the kitchen, the wonderful smell of freshly made loaves of bread reached my nostrils as well as the hearty laughter of my parents. A smile tugs at my lips, and I peek inside before being urged by my father to enter, ''Well son! I heard you were leaving for your grandmother's house to bring her food and look after her.'' I nod, ''Yes. I am.''

The cheery look on my father's features falters just a bit, but he's still smiling so I don't worry about the thought, ''Son, there is one thing I will say to you. While you travel through the forest, be careful of the wolf.''

''Wolf?''

''Oh yes! That's right, the big bad wolf! How could I have forgotten?!'' My mother cries, halting from her process of placing the bread loaves in the basket.

''Oh no, what will my child do if he encounters the wolf?'' She cries further, worry painfully taking over her soft features as she grabs onto her husband's shoulder. Father gently holds her hands reassuringly and he looks at me with a hard look in his eyes, ''There is nothing to worry about,'' he says, ''As long as you don't stray from the path through the forest leading to your grandmother's house, the wolf will not attack you.''

''Why so?'' I ask, curiosity taking over me.

''Because there's a hunter on that path, and the wolf dare not appear before him.''

''I understand.'' I tell my father and look at my mother with a smile, ''I will be careful mother.''

Mother is still worrying as she hands me the basket full of food, and I try my best to reassure her that I will be fine since the hunter will be there on the path. Finally, she sighs heavily and brings forth a red fabric from under the table. She spreads it and I immediately realize that it's a hooded cape.

I look at her confusedly and she drapes it across my shoulders and ties the knot around my neck with gently hands. ''This is made out of the finest wool son, the wool which my mother passed down to me. It will keep you warm throughout your journey.'' She smiles.

The texture of the wool is magnificently soft against my skin, the colour comparable to the finest of berries and the most colourful of roses. I smile down at my mother, nodding as I grip the handle of the basket tighter in my hands and finally, as she pulls up the hood of the cape above my head, she says with seriousness and worry in her eyes, ''Don't stray from the path, dear.''

-o-

It is strangely beautiful. I muse as I stand before the entrance of the dark forest, currently covered in white snow fallen from the heaven. There is only darkness as far as the eye can see and it is dark, fearfully so, and yet, you cannot stop from wondering what kind of view awaits at the end of it, what kinds of trees, what kinds of soil, and what kinds of creatures inhabit this seemingly mysterious place.

I look behind me and the words of my mother echo through my mind. I suppress a shudder as I imagine what kind of wicked beast lives in the darkness of this forest.

I have never entered the dark forest in all the nineteen years of my short life. When grandfather was still alive, the old couple used to live in the neighbouring village, but after the love of her life left this world, grandmother no longer found joy in staying at a place full of his memories and she had moved to a remote area surrounded with trees.

Delaying brought no good, I decide as I step onto the path leading through the dark forest. The path was sprayed with a thin layer of snow as the thick branches above took most of the fallen coldness. It is eerily silent, I think as I take step after step and travel deeper into the coldness. The snow crunches under my shoes and all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing.

Until…

''You there.'' I hear and my heart jumps inside my ribcage. I turn around quickly to face the stranger, my heart filled with apprehension. It starts beating louder and louder when my gaze sets on a tall tall man, sheltered in a black black cloak. He has a broad chin and high cheekbones, his long black hair reaching beyond his shoulders. The male has a moustache under his nose and worst of all, and the reason which startles me the most, was the shiny silver axe in his hold.

I start to panic, trying to identify the man and his intentions. The path was safe, was it not?

''What is a young lad like you doing in a dangerous place like this?'' The man grovels in a deep rumble and I sub-consciously take a step back. I gulp.

Should I answer? Should I not?

''Answer me, boy.'' He says, tilting his head, tone impatient yet he does not show it physically. ''My-My grandmother is sick. She lives at the edge of the forest, I'm delivering her food!'' I explain quickly.

''Grandmother?'' He narrows his eyes in thought before seemingly, he remembers something, ''You mean old lady Ishida?'' My eyes widen, a seed of blind trust rooting in my mind upon hearing the familiar name. ''Yes!'' I reply.

The man grins, it looks sinister and cold, yet, his words overpower my instincts, ''Old lady Ishida has been very lonely for the past few days. I'm happy to hear a relative is going to take care of her. I would love to sit and converse with her but I'm a hunter you see,'' He says, lifting his shiny axe and I could somehow taste the metal on my tongue. ''Therefore, I cannot stay with her forever, since there is a big bad wolf hiding in the forest. I cannot let the wicked beast roam around as it pleases.''

Relief floods my mind quickly. I look up at him, ''You are the hunter!'' I exclaim and he nods slowly.

He looks as if in contemplation for a moment and before I could ponder on it, he takes a few steps forward. ''It is not safe for a young boy like you to travel alone in these deep woods. Let me accompany you, it is the least I could do for old lady Ishida, as she always welcomes me with warm tea whenever I visit her old home.''

I nod, however uncertain, because as far as I knew, grandmother hates tea.

''But grandmother dislikes tea.'' I say, before I could stop myself. However, I couldn't go along with a stranger with any sort of suspicions.

''Oh but she does like it now.'' The hunter says, without a hitch, ''After I brought her the best of the tea leaves from the village in the East. She had loved it.''

I release a breath I didn't know I had been holding in my chest. The hunter must have been a good company to her, going as far as bringing her tea leaves from the East. A smile tugs at my lips and I start on my way again, this time followed by the friendly hunter.

After crossing about twenty more trees, I decide to start a conversation, not comfortable with the awkwardness in the air. ''I heard about the big bad wolf. Is it so dangerous as my parents said it was?'' I ask, because no matter what, the idea of the wolf was fascinating, and I was terribly curious.

''It is. It certainly is, that cunning creature. I never manage to end it's life because of it's cunning wickedness.'' He says and I cannot even imagine what that creature must be like to evade a man like the hunter. He looked very strong and sure in the way he carries himself. I wouldn't be surprised if the hunter could cut through the branch of a large wood with just a couple of strikes with his heavy looking axe.

''But.'' He continues after a pause.

''The wolf,'' he says, looking down at me with blood red eyes, ''Is not the only danger you may have the  _misfortune_ of encountering in the forest, dear boy.'' I try to suppress the shiver threatening to rattle my spine. All of a sudden, a tingle of fear spreads through the fibres in my body for a reason I dare not admit. The hunter wasn't dangerous, he wouldn't hurt me. And besides, he was a friend of grandmother. He wasn't bad.

I try to avert the feeling by focusing on a familiar concept. ''Is grandmother healthy?'' I ask the hunter. ''Is she happy?''

''She is sick, as you have said. However, she is happy. She finds the calmness of the forest soothing to her old soul.''

I only blink for a few seconds.

''And her diet? Is she eating well?''

''She is.''

''What about her apple pies? Does she still make them? Are they as delicious?''

''They are the best I have ever eaten.''

I halt in my steps.

''I think…Mr. Hunter, I think I need to pick some mushrooms as well. I just saw some on our way here. I have been thinking about picking them up, but in the end, I would like them, I shall try to make her famous mushroom soup, although, I can only hope it tastes as delicious as her's.

The hunter stops in his tracks and looks back at me before the same cold grin takes over his features. ''Certainly,  _little red_. She loves mushrooms.'' I force a smile onto my features. ''Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes.''

''Oh, but let me accompany you.'' The hunter says instantly.

''No no, please. They were right there and I do not think there was anything dangerous and I will not even enter the woods. I shall be right back, Mr. Hunter.'' I say and I turn around. I retrace my steps, biting hard on my lips and trying hard not to break into a run. Because-

As far as I knew, my grandmother hated the silence. My grandmother cannot cook apple pies. And my grandmother certainly doesn't like mushrooms as she was allergic to them! Why was the hunter lying?! What was he planning? Why does he possess the need to lie?

He is dangerous, I decide. He is very dangerous! And he is armed to boot. I stand no chance against his build either. Why oh why did I have to encounter the tall suspicious man? How do I escape from him while I knew if I stepped into the woods, I would be ripped to shreds!

I try not to look back and crouch down near the roots of a tree, behind which were more trees surrounded with total darkness. ''What shall I do?'' I whisper to myself as I place the basket filled with food on the ground near my knees, and my eyes nearly tear up at the sweet and secure reminder of home.

I need a plan. However I had weak chances of escape from the hunter no matter which way I looked. I was deep in my thoughts, struggling to find an answer to fit my questions and doubts when I heard the faint crunch of soft white snow under a foot. I look up and my breath locks and my heart thumps deafeningly loud one single time followed by utter silence. The scream dies in my throat and I fear I'm hyperventilating.  _Blue_  eyes. Crystal blue eyes were staring back at me from behind the tree in front of which I was crouching before. I cannot view the rest of the figure but I'm sure with every drop of blood in my body that those are definitely not human eyes. And the growl which follows is definitely a wolf's.

The figure moves forward and I stumble on my back, arm coming up to defend my body measly. But I'm startled further, when my back meets a pair of legs and I look up, only to see the hunter in black holding up his axe, which horribly, was aiming to fall down on me.

I shrieked, but my body froze. It was death, I was sure. By either side or both, I was surely to die! And what bad luck, I could not even deliver the food which my parents worked hard to produce to my sick grandmother, who is apparently lying on her death bed, all alone!

But right as the axe landed on my hooded head, I was dragged from the path and into the forest. The last thing I remember is hearing an angry roar from the hunter and a string of curses in a voice I was unfamiliar with which ended with a triumphant laugh.

And what an addicting laugh it was.

**Pt. 2 will be updated during this week.**


	7. #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Character death.
> 
> Unfortunately, this isn't Little Red Pt.2

 

 

''I  _can't_  anymore, my body will break….stop,  _aah,_ no, Grimm,'' My lover writhes underneath me as I trust into his heat, warmth seeping into my very bones as his red, abused lips trace my jugular while he whispers my name in broken moans. How could he ever imagine I could stop when I look into his eyes, velvety brown and see them swimming with a dark desire so deep I want to tie him up and never let him out. I lift his milky thigh up as I spread his legs wider and trust in deeper, eliciting a moan so wanton I cannot hold it in anymore and my lips find his in another heated kiss, swallowing his moans and when I part, he throws his head back, unintentionally baring the expanse of his usually spotless skin, now filled with the tingling bruises left by my lips and teeth and tongue.

''Gri—I'm close, Grimm,'' His back arches upwards and one of his arms encircle my back, nails impatiently scratching faintly at my skin while the other twists the pristine white bed sheets above his head, clutching so hard, his knuckles turn white. My hand moves over one over-sensitive nipple and he moans louder into my ear, sweet and more than desirable. My fingers envelope around his wet member and move around it as I hear my lover loose coherence and his other arm comes up to dig into my blue locks, pulling at the strands messily enough but I don't mind. My hand slides down his pale skin, soft and warm under my fingertips and I whisper into his ear, ''Ichi, come for me, come for me.''

And he does. His entire body shudders as he breaks down and builds up right in front of my very eyes, his own closing shut and muscles tensing and relaxing and lips parting in a silent scream. I come right after, how could I not, after watching something so beautifully erotic underneath me, his walls clutch around me as I come inside of him, satisfied beyond imagination and completely exhausted pleasantly.

I pull out of him and fall on my side, pulling my lover's spent body towards mine, his back against my chest. Our breaths slowly become softer and my hand finds his chest, moving along with the movement of his breath, up and down, up and down and there's a tight tug at my heart when I feel his own beat under my hand. I instinctively pull him closer and nuzzle my nose behind his ear.

''Grimm.'' Ichigo whispers and he places his smaller hand on mine.

''Hmm?''

''Grimm.'' He says again, as if stating something.

''What is it Ichigo?''

He turns around in my hold and looks into my eyes, his beautiful brown melting into me. But to my dislike, I can see flecks of pain embedded in his expressive velvety orbs.

''I love you.'' I say, meaning every word behind the sentence. ''I love you so much.'' I want to comfort him.

Ichigo smiles sadly and my heart breaks further and I was sure his was breaking too, ''I love you too.'' He whispers as he traces my cheeks with his fingers. ''Grimm, I will always love you.''

I hug him tighter, pulling his head against my chest, closer and much closer, but even that is not enough, ''I'm sorry.'' I murmur and even I'm surprised at my own words. ''I'm sorry.''

''No. Don't. You are only hurting me.'' Ichigo says looking up and he kisses my jaw, then my cheek, then my nose, then my lips.

''Anything you want,'' I say into the kiss, ''Ask me anything you want. I'll give it to you.''

Only when the words left my lips did I understand the weight behind them. Ichigo pulls back and his eyes are wide, knowing and he gulps, lower lips trembling, ''You are so cruel.'' He says, hands cupping my face, ''You are so cruel, Grimm, you know I only want one thing-  _one person_ , the one person I want so bad yet I can never have. How could you tell me something like that?'' His eyes are covered by a sheen of unshed tears and I kiss him again, pain eating away at my insides.

_I'm sorry._

I pull his lower lip into my mouth and nibble on it.

_I'm sorry._

My tongue grazes the roof of his mouth.

_I'm sorry._

I nibble on his lips.

_I'm so sorry._

''Don't give me hope.'' Ichigo whispers against my lips, lips parted as we took in each other's breaths. ''Don't give me hope, Grimm, I can't live with hope,  _I can't anymore_.'' There's a pang in my chest. How could I ever make up to my lover?

I can only hug him tighter in our embrace and it is with so much hurt that I notice again that my lover falls asleep with my arms with tears of sadness in his eyes and I feel like the most useless trash on the face of the planet.

The morning rays of sunlight are warm on my naked skin. My eyes part as I hear my name being called in that familiar boyish tone of voice. I feel the bed on to my side but it's empty.

''Mr. Jaegerjaques. Please wake up, you have to hurry. Miss Orihime has returned.''

My eyes squint open and I see orange strands dancing in my vision. My eyes open wider, completely ignoring the words being said and my head is filled with the voice of the person. The scarce dust in the room is floating in the rays of sun and even brighter than the sun are the brown eyes staring back at me, the rays envelope my love like an ethereal halo and he looks just like that- ethereal. Like someone out of this world.

''Mr. Jaegerjaquez.'' He says and this time, the formal way with which my name was said registers and the sleep escapes me at his next words, ''Sir, your wife has returned from London. She is waiting in the dining hall.''

I get up instantly and look at Ichigo's expressionless face.

''I'll...I'll be right there.''

''Yes. I'll relay that message.'' He bows and moves to leave but I catch his wrist and pull him into my lap. I kiss him but he doesn't kiss back. When I move back, there's that sadness back on his face, his carefully woven mask cracking. ''I hate you.'' He hisses through gritted teeth. ''I hate you so fucking much. I regret the day we met.'' He says further, the expression in his eyes hard.

I only hug him to me. ''I love you.''

He clutches at my back, ''You are my boss. I'm supposed to be your assistant, not an affair. And for countless nights,'' he gasps, ''I have ignored it because I love you.''

''You know I can't part with her. Many lives are depending on out marriage.''

Ichigo nods against my neck. ''I do know. But I'm dying inside, Grimm. I'm dying every time I see her cling to your arm, every time you hug her and every time she kisses you.'' He says, voice breaking.

''I'm leaving.''

My eyes widen. And I pull back to look into his eyes. ''No.'' I shake my head, ''You aren't.''

''I am.'' He says determinedly. ''I'm leaving this behind. I don't want something which gives me more pain than happiness.''

''No!''

''It doesn't matter what you say.'' He pecks my lips. ''Either I leave, or I die in your huge mansion, surrounded with you and your wife's laughter. I choose the former.''

''Then I will die without you!''

Ichigo smiles with defeat. ''You won't.'' He says and starts to get up. ''This is my last day here.''

''Ichigo.'' He doesn't stop nor does he look back, ''Ichigo.''

''Goodbye, Grimm.''

And the door closes.

It is only after one week, that I stop leaving my room. My wife is worried as ever, she smiles at me sweetly and lovingly though, with a loving understanding but she's not Ichigo.

Two weeks later, I stop eating.

The third week, I'm diagnosed with depression.

The fourth week, I'm hallucinating about Ichigo.

The fifth week, I cut myself.

The sixth week, I'm on my death bed and I wonder if it's a hallucination when a teary eyed Ichigo comes and cups my face as his soft and warm lips kiss my dry and chapped ones as I take my last and final breath in this world.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to my readers that this isn't Little Red pt.2 and I broke my promise. But I have been planning for that story and turn it into a series, so it would take time. This is a measly compensation I know and although I had written it days ago, I still didn't post it here until now. I hope you anticipate Little Red Riding Hood when I publish it! Cheers!


	8. #9. A friend in need, is a friend indeed...or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a double update.

 

 

''You know, it would make much more sense if you would actually go and talk to him rather than hiding here and stalking him just to know his likes and dislikes. It's been what? A year and a half of this shit already?''

'' _For the love of everything holy_ \- Hirako, if you don't shut up when we are  _right behind_ Grimmjow, I'll slaughter your secret stash of shoujo manga and pee on every single fucking thing you love, starting with your ugly hair.'' I whisper in a hiss.

Although I doubt anybody could hear us in the crowded cafeteria. Still, I had to stay on guard.

I hear the blonde sigh deeply beside me, and an image of his slackened jaw and side-ways glancing eyes flash before my eyes. His infamous oh-this-useless-useless-pitiful-moron-even-God-can't-help-you look.

But only for a second does my attention stays on my best friend before it is forcefully snatched ~~(along with my heart)~~ away by a certain blue haired senior currently throwing his head back to laugh merrily at one of his lame friends doing who knows what and honestly, it doesn't even matter why because Grimmjow Jaegerjaques was laughing, his blue blue eyes crinkling at the corners, his lips stretched across perfect white teeth and his perfect nose angled perfectly with his perfect jaw and he's just so perfect. I don't realize the dreamy sigh I let out until Hirako whacks me behind my head and grabs my ear before dragging me to Grimmjow's table in the cafeteria.

My eyes widen and in a frenzy of panic, I fling my arms and fight with my all (scratch Hirako with my nails) but Hirako only hisses softly under his breath, obviously trying his damn hardest not to let out a string of curses spanning from 85-90 decibels in the crowded High school cafeteria. I attempt to tickle Hirako, which is my last fucking choice in this unpredicted situation but all is lost when my best friend –from this moment on  _ex_ \- literally throws me before the seniors' table.

I think fast and attempt to escape before I get noticed but Hirako –that  _son of a bitch_ \- predicts this and in his abnormally (he should seriously get that checked) loud voice, says '' **Ahem**. Jaegerjaques senpai, Kurosaki has something to tell you.''

My head spins and my neck snaps at Hirako's direction and a ' _Bish how could you?!_ ' look takes over my features in a desperate plea because I just got rolled over and twisted like a burrito and put in front of a predator to chew on…by the one whom I had trusted the most! Traitor!

I hear the people at the table go silent and I gulp, not ready to face reality yet. I count the seconds.

 

 

**1…2…...3…...**

 

 

Alas, time won't just stop for me no matter how slowly I count the seconds, so I gulp yet again. Then I slowly, very slowly turn my head and promptly choke on air. Grimmjow Jaegerjaques was even more of  _gorgeous bastard_  up close _._ His eyes- oh his eyes, I don't have the vocabulary to express how… _urgh!_  They are. Right at this moment, I regret ever sleeping or bunking out of language classes.

Grimmjow taps his index on the table top and raises a blue eyebrow, where in my heart jumps into my throat and my palms start sweating as if a waterfall was in the making there and I inwardly cringe because Grimmjow was clearly expecting a response!

Although I hated Hirako to the depths of hell and back at the moment, a small part of my mind, somewhere deep, told me that this was an opportunity to make a good impression on your crush. I tried to rush through different types of pep talks, ranging from 'You are beautiful, amazing, confident' to 'You actually might even have a teeniest tiniest chance of not making a fool of yourself'

 

 

 

However….

 

 

 

All that came out in this miraculous moment of once in a life time opportunity was;

 

 

''Wuh.''

 

Great.

 

Just.

 

Fucking,

 

Fantastic.

 

Wow.

 

Guess that last pep talk went drown the drain huh.

I can practically hear Hirako face-palm behind me and Grimmjow tilts his head -so adorably of course- slightly and his lips twitch, as if he was stopping himself from smiling or just laughing at my dumb expression caused by shock.

No, no. No. No. No!

This wasn't supposed to go this way!  _Stupid_  Hirako and his  _stupid_  boldness and his  _stupid_  hair and I'm gonna kill him and burn his hair and-

 

''Is that all?''

'' _Hn?_ ''

''I thought you had something to say?''

''Hn.''

''Yeah?''

''Yup.'' With a pop of the 'p'.

I hear a chuckle and my bubble bursts and heat travels up to my face and I can feel my ears going red and I bite the inside of my cheek because I realize that not only did Grimmjow himself talk to me but I replied to him like the dazed moron that I am.

Fuck my life.

The only good thing about this, which wasn't much, was that Grimmjow didn't seem put off with my presence, and he wasn't laughing in my face. Because if he was finding my entire embarrassingly dumb existence hilarious, he would have, because that was the kind of person Grimmjow is.

But one can never know.

The finger tapping ensues once more and I bite my lower lip. Not knowing what to say.

What did Hirako want me to do here talking with the senior? Ask him out on a date?  _Pfft…_ As if.

Well…what if that  _was_ the reason and just by imagining it, I start to panic yet again.

I'm  _this_ close to losing my sanity when a  _very_ smooth and deep voice, with an undertone of boyishness speaks, ''Kurosaki Ichigo,''

My eyes widen.

 

_Oh My God, Oh my God he knows my name! Heknowsmyname!_

 

Wait. Hirako mentioned it before right…

''Would you like to go out to a movie sometime?''

 

 

HUH.

 

 

''Huh?''

''A movie,'' Is it just me or does Grimmjow look a  _taaaad_  bit unsure? ''Together.''

 

 

OH.

 

 

''Oh.''

 

'Grimmjow looks up at my eyes and I can feel the blush creeping up again, Gosh! How handsome can this man get?!

''Uh…''

 

Brain malfunction. Brain malfunction.

 

''I..''

 

Get your shit together! Yes! He's asking you out!

 

 

….Is he?

 

''Are you?''

''What?''

''Are you…um…by any, uh, chance…asking me out. Like  _out_ out?''

''Yeah.''

 

 

_**HE'S ASKING ME OUT!**_

 

 

Say yes! Say yes!

 

''I'll think about it.''

 

What. In. the. Actual. Fuck. Mouth. You. Stupid. Little.

 

Suddenly, there's a whack against the back of my head.

And believe me when I say it was painful.

But enough to snap me out of my dumbness. Thank you Hirako, You are my best friend again.

''I mean yes! I would definitely like to go out to a movie with you!''

Grimmjow beams and my heart explodes. I must be dead and this is heaven.

''Great. See you on Saturday then. Ichigo.''

I nod and smile.

Hirako grabs my forearm and tugs me away after giving a slight bow, ''Sorry, we have to get going.'' Before giving his boyfriend Nnoitra, who so happens to be Grimmjow's friend a knowing smirk.

I almost pout at the loss of Grimmjow _. Almost._

''Hey. Don't pout. You are gonna go out with him, be happy about it.''

''Yeah…''

Then it occurs to me,

 

 

''Hey, how did he know my first name? I don't remember you mentioning that...''

 

And Hirako snickers.


	9. #10 The nerd and the playboy. (round 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On reaching Chapter 10!

 

I resist the urge to bang my forehead against the cafeteria table as soon as I sit down. The stress I've been facing these days is no joke. No, not from school, but because of Kurosaki Ichigo.

I have to go to his house every alternative day for Math, which begrudgingly, I'm getting better at and fuck Hirako to hell, because I had never asked for it. I never asked to be seated before that sexy vixen of a man who becomes bolder with his attire every fucking time.

I can clearly imagine the image of him just yesterday, wearing those black shredded jeans and that sleeveless white shirt which not only revealed his toned (I decided to try and not to be surprised by him any longer) arms but the collar was so loose, it kept sliding down his shoulder revealing his delicious looking collar bones. What was worse, he was wearing several metal rings on his fingers and eyeliner.

Fucking eyeliner.

I had never seen a man wear eyeliner and the idea itself is repulsing, but whenever he looked up with that smokey black lining his brown orbs, making them look lighter and his milky skin whiter, I had to gulp down the urge to shove him against his dining table and fuck him right there.

Then comes his extremely enhanced observational skills and that irritating little smirk takes over his plump lips whenever he catches me staring at him for a few seconds longer than which is socially acceptable.

I groan as I clutch at my head.

I wanted to fuck him up so bad. I wanted to make him feel what he's making me feel.

How?

Then a voice interrupts my internal struggle for a two seconds.

''Wow, Grimm, are you actually thinking?''

I groan again before I look up at my one and only friend, the black haired monkey, ''Fuck off Kaien.''

''Ouch. I just came over to have lunch man,'' He says, sitting across me, ''No need to be so harsh with words.''

I look at the salad in his tray and back at his peaceful face, I still doesn't understand why we are friends.

I just pick up my burger and dig in.

''So, what's bothering you?''

I raise an eyebrow at him and don't answer just yet. Because one, what's with Kaien and him wanting to know other people's problems? And two, I didn't know how to explain 'I wanna have sex with my Math turor slash school nerd so bad and so hard, I want to wipe that sexy smirk off his beautiful face.' in a way that wouldn't end our six year friendship.

''Girl problems? Guy problems? Come on, gimme something,'' He pokes.

''The second one.''

'' _Ooh_ …Who who?''

''Dammit mom, can't you go bother other people?'' I snarl but to my despair, Kaien only smiles like Mother Theresa.

''Come on, you can tell me. I might be able to help you.''

''No! Go away!'' It was almost disgusting how I was beginning to get persuaded to spill the beans. I have been suffering alone these past two weeks after all; the constant sexual tension which for the fear for my life, might be one sided for the first time in my Eighteen years of life yet. That makes it look as if I was almost…..almost…. _pining_ for that little piece of shit. I resist the urge to vomit all over Kaien.

''Grimm, we are brothers aren't we?'' And there it was, that smile, like sunshine.

I cover my eyes and grimace behind my hand, that smile was repulsing at how bright and pure it was, as if Kaien understood what I was going through without even hearing my story. It was the technique he used to use on me whenever I used to steal food from the fridge in the middle of the night and despite passing the hurdle which was my mother, I would get caught up in that fucking, repulsive, ugly,  _smile._

'' _Fuck,_ stop smiling or I'll seriously break your teeth!''

''I know you aren't as violent. Anymore. Street fighting can only get you somewhere, little brother, and I'm still proud of you realizing what's important in your life like I'm—''

''For the love of God—''

''So, your love interest?''

''He's not a love interest.''

''…Then?''

I sigh, putting my half eaten burger down. What takes a man to be able to eat in peace?

''I don't like him at all. His personality is shit, he's a liar. And it infuriates me that he is able to rile me up and I can't do anything about it.''

Kaien hums, ''Do you not like him  _because_ he affects you so much?''

Damn, Kaien has a point there.

But who was gonna agree with a monkey?

''I don't think so.''

''Then what, are you stressed because he annoys you, or are you stressed out because you want to get back at him?''

A light bulb goes off inside my head. Kaien's choice of words did the trick though. ''I need to go. I have work to do,'' I say and get up before another sound comes out of my childhood friend and I'm out of the crowded room in a minute.

' _Get back at him'_

I agree that this might be childish and in the end will only come back to bite my ass, but if taking the nerd down with me to hell is possible, I'll take the chance.

It's a week later, just after a random test Hirako popped up on us, we receive the answer sheets back.

Hirako shakes his head disapprovingly with a deep frown on his face as he hands out my paper.

''And you were doing so good too,'' He says, as I look at the number written at the upper right hand corner of the paper in angry red, ' _30'_

I don't look at Kurosaki as he gets called to the teacher's office at the end of the school, but I do wait for his return alone in the class.

It's after around thirty minutes when the door slides open and an orange haired angry bird enters, face collected but the frown set on his lips and the hardness of his brown eyes behind his glasses scream otherwise.

''You little shit, we went over the questions on the test just last week! Is your brain so micro sized that you can't even remember it for seven fucking days?!''

I smirk, watching Kurosaki loose his shit was the most rewarding thing. Especially since I was seeing the 'real' Kurosaki in his uniform and glasses for the first time, his confident shoulders and the angry stomp in his steps only the icing on the cake when he steps right between my legs where I'm seated on top of my desk.

He grabs my collar and brings his face close to my face, our breaths mingling and I only grin wider, ''Answer me, bitch,''

Ah, that was super hot.

My hand grabs his' on my collar and I lean down to whisper against his ear, my lips grazing the shell softly, ''I guess you didn't teach me well enough, Kurosaki Ichigo.''

I feel Kurosaki tense against my body and lean back, about to see his reaction when the sound of footsteps nears the room and suddenly, I feel my body being yanked forcefully and in the next minute, I'm being pulled into the tall, narrow locker in the corner of the classroom.

I press up against the wall in the cramped space and Kurosaki's back is against my chest, with him peeking through the narrow crevices to take a look at the people who entered the room.

The space is so cramped that I have no choice but to bend my head and my nose is tickled by orange hair strands which are softer than they appear and I inhale a breath, involuntarily breathing in the faint smell of leaf burning smoke and a kind of bitter dark chocolate. I can hear my heart beat louder in my ears because that smell shouldn't nearly be feeling warm, but it smells like home. And I reach my hand out, gulping dry and eyes closing as I place a hand on his hip, nosing at the soft skin of his neck, inhaling and trying to singe that smell into my mind. The sudden recognition of the warmth of his body against mine makes little electric sparks travel under my skin and I think it should scare me, all there new sensations should scare me, but all I'm thinking about is pulling closer into that warmth and embracing it, and making it  _mine._

''Stop.'' I hear a whisper against my ear when Kurosaki turns his head slightly to speak and my grip hardens on his hip, definitely going to leave bruises. I glance up, lips caressing the side of his neck and at this distance I watch as the brown of his eyes are slowly swallowed by the black of his dilating pupils and it is all I can do before I brush my lips against his', lightly, softly, as if he was something fragile, when I knew he was probably anything but.

It was barely a kiss, our lips weren't connecting in the most conventional way or the brutal pace that I'm used to but in a way that teases the corners of my mind into wishing for more but resisting to do so because  _I don't_   _want this moment to end._

But it does end, in the most appalling way.

Kurosaki grips my forearm and suddenly, I'm turned around, face pressing into the locker wall and arm bending behind me in an iron grip.

I should release myself from that grip but the space was too small for any movement on my part and it was shocking enough that Kurosaki was even able to maneuver my body into this position.

''You know I could hurt you really bad?'' I hear behind me, ''Like break this arm right here?'' He pulls hard on my forearm as emphasis and I have to supress a laugh at his threats in the midst of the slight, familiar pain.

''Let me see you try babe.''

And then I feel the grip on my arm release and the press of his body against mine is gone. I turn around to the open door and Kurosaki already at his desk, collecting his things.

''You are a very childish shit. If you fail the next exam  _intentionally,_ I'll rip your balls out.''

I tilt my head and grin widely as Kurosaki leaves the class without glancing back at me because this just got way too interesting and I wonder how many more secrets are hidden under those glasses.


	10. #11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS : Domestic Abuse, non-consensual sex. NOT for people with faint hearts.

 

I'm right. He's wrong, and he has to know it.

This is what acts as the engine to my limbs and mouth as I shove Ichigo, my boyfriend of an year into the nearest wall. He winces from pain and grunts, hand reflexively clutching his hurt shoulder. But this is not enough. His eyes, the are still defiant. They scream that I'm wrong. They yell that I'm not right.

I clench my jaw tight and grab his wrist, not catching the flinch in his form, maybe I do, but I choose to ignore it.

I drag him and throw him into the floor harshly, but before he can recover from the impact, there's my leg on his gut. He screams in pain, his lids hiding bright star-like orbs.

I clutch his hair, forcing him to look at me. Still, he looks at me with eyes alive with feeling. I get a doubt, my mind tells me that I would regret this, that I'm hurting the person I promised to stand by, but it doesn't matter as my fist collides with one of his high cheek bones. I'm more important. My right over his wrong is more important.

He coughs up blood, staining the carpet crimson. It's not enough. I look at his face, study it. I get up after I release him, then I kick him once more, his yelp falling into deaf ears. I throw the vase on the floor in anger and it shatters but doesn't help with anything. I take his collar, drag him across the room through the shattered pieces then slam him against the door, roughly kissing him.

I bite his lips and taste metal. It's disgusting but I don't stop, taking note of Ichigo's unresponsiveness as submissiveness. 

I shove him through the bedroom door and force him onto the bed. His eyes widen and he yells at me to stop, but I only grab a thrown away tie and tie his wrists to the headboard. He still continues to yell and I slap him, effectively shutting him up for the first time since I've ever laid my hand on him, I heard a whimper which slowly made way for tears to drop from his eyes. I hesitate, but then I'm this close to winning. I force away his clothes whole his whimpers turn into sobs. I kiss, bite and abuse his already abused skin. I tear down his pants and spread his legs.

I take a glance at his face, his cheek is swollen into blue, tears spilling from his tightly shut eyes.

''Look at me'' I tell him, demand from him and when he doesn't listen, I force him by grabbing his chin. He opens his lids, and fear is all I see. I witness Ichigo breaking away as I push inside him, without preparing him. He screams, cries with new tears spilling from horrified eyes, his head trashes and lithe body trembles harshly. I thrust into him, again and again till I come, and Ichigo breaks.

I untie his bondage, calm at last and I glance at my broken lover. I look at his body and at the blood at the blood between his legs. Internally wincing, I get up and fix my pants then walk out of the bedroom and out of our shared apartment.

I walk to the nearby park and sit down on a bench. My mind feels empty, accomplishment long gone the moment I untied Ichigo's bruised wrists. Bruised. My breath hitches and all I can think of is purple and red on beautiful white.

My eyes narrow and I frown. The image of Ichigo lying broken on the bed right before I left flows behind my closed lids. Curled up, his forearms covering his beaten up face. I gasp loudly. But I wasn't able to view him for a longer time. Why? The image of a trembling and uglily bruised hand coming up to grip the white blankets weakly to cover the body of it's owner is what comes to mind.

Suddenly, oxygen feels way too heavy in my chest. I stand up at once, I raped my boyfriend, I raped Ichigo. I feel the food coming up my throat and I crouch down and throw up, head reeling.

Getting up, I run back to our apartment hurriedly but right as I arrive in front of our door, I freeze.

How in the world can I face him after what I had done to the man? My fists tremble at my sides, clenching and unclenching with indecision. It is the least I can do to apologize. I feel fear swallow me up but as suffocated as I feel, I know Ichigo must have felt worse. I swallow thickly and grab the doorknob, hoping it isn't locked and twist the doorknob. It opens and I don't know whether to be relieved or not. I walk to the bedroom before I can back out but when I get there, it's empty. My heart drops. I look at the bloodies sheets then I look at the open bathroom door, which is empty inside as well. Hurriedly, I check the living room and the kitchen as well as the guest bedroom but still no signs of Ichigo. I panic and in a last ditch attempt, I force open the closet door in out bedroom only to find my clothes in it.

Only my clothes. Ichigo's aren't there. I slump down to the floor. I clutch my head as Ichigo's tear filled face comes to my mind.

What have I done?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, what have I done? I'm sorry. Anyhow, I'll leave the ending to you guys. I'd love to hear what you think will happen though!


	11. #12.

When the bottle lands on Ichigo, for the fourth time, he groans and falls back onto the floor, forearms covering his face because he had used up all of his three truths and now he had no other choice but to choose-

 

‘’Dare.’’       

                                                                  

He groans louder into his hands and puts his arms down, staring at the ceiling in frustration.

 

The party was over almost an hour ago, only their close knit group of friends along with other mutual friends were present.

 

Ichigo shakes his half empty bottle of beer –it’s his second one- and glares at Renji when he hears a sickening snicker.

 

‘’Okay.’’ He says, just to get this shit over with, ‘’What do I have to do?’’

 

Renji’s smile widens as his gaze shifts towards the open kitchen and Ichigo stops breathing for a moment and his eyes widen as warning bells ring behind his ears.

 

When Renji looks back, Ichigo mouths a _don’t you fucking dare,_ oh the irony but Renji was determined in making Ichigo loose his nerve at any cost tonight.

 

‘’Go over to Grimmjow Jaegerjaques in the kitchen right now and confess your love to him.’’

 

Fuck.

 

He was going to barbeque the little monkey.

 

He narrows his eyes at his childhood best friend in a way that screams ‘Yeah? Make me you asshole’ and Renji seems to understand even through his haze of alcohol but he only grins challengingly.

 

‘’Unless you are too afraid to, little princess.’’

 

Ichigo jumps up, and gulps down the rest of his beer in one go, resulting in wolf whistles and claps from the rest of the people in the circle. He throws the empty bottle on the couch and strides to Grimmjow.

 

Okay, he will admit to this. Ichigo fell for the senior student on the first day of University. He might have even stalked him for a week and ranted about his liking for the Bio major several times to Renji on several drunken (or not) occasions.

 

Although Renji got annoyed just the first time and had thrown his law book at Ichigo, cursing at him to confess and stop eating his brain.

 

Over the course of the year, Renji’s yells turned into pleas because ‘’Just confess to him, please let me study, please, I’m failing, Ichigo, I beg you. At this rate I know more about him than he probably does himself.’’

 

But of course Renji didn’t know Grimmjow as well as he thought he knew because there was just a tiny problem with the equation.

 

Grimmjow was straight.

 

(Ichigo never liked Math anyway.)

 

And he wilted away in the corner of the University cafeteria every time Grimmjow came holding a new girl’s waist like an accessory.

 

Renji insisted otherwise.

 

‘’No way he’s just straight. When so many men drool over him, no way he hasn’t experimented.’’

 

But Ichigo didn’t want to be a fucking experiment.

 

Because he was falling a little in love with Grimmjow every single day.

 

Every smile, every smirk, every blink.

 

Ever laugh, every wink, every breath.

 

Everything.

 

Ichigo steps into the kitchen and spots Grimmjow right away, tall enough with broad shoulders, looking better than that prince he saw in Yuzu’s manga. A modern prince who wore leather and metal; A prince who was all blue eyes and pale skin, black clothes and a wicked grin.

 

The tall senior had his arms around a girl in a mini skirt and auburn hair falling over her shoulders like waves, probably drunk as she lands all her weight on his strong body. Ichigo watches with green eyes and a breaking heart as she drags a finger over his sharp jaw, and watches as Grimmjow tilts his head, smirking lazily at her with hidden promises of a mind blowing night sparkling in his eyes.

 

Maybe Ichigo was reading too much into it.

 

Maybe Ichigo can’t do it after all.

 

As he gulps and contemplates turning around and just losing the game, he remembers Renji’s words.

 

‘’Just try and confess. If he’s not gay, then you get to relieve some burden. If he’s gay, then he might be interested in you and something might work out. What have you got to lose?’’

 

_What have I got to lose?_

 

_Everything._

 

But Renji does make sense. A burden will be relieved.

 

So he stomps his way to Grimmjow and stands in front of him. His palms are clammy and his lips are trembling, but he clears his throat and stares through his bangs as Grimmjow’s stare finally lands on him.

 

Ichigo is frozen by the intensity of those eyes.

 

Ichigo has always watched Grimmjow from afar, but he has never had that _gaze_ on him. It sends a shiver through his spine and a fire to settle under his veins.

 

_I might fall deeper, you fucking bastard._

 

He gulps. He has to do this. At any cost.

 

But the impossibility of it being fulfilled is so heavy and Ichigo’s mind is filled with uncertainty.

 

_Here goes-_

 

‘’Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, I’m Kurosaki Ichigo, first year Computer Science. Will you date me? Breathe if yes, swim across the pacific ocean while reciting the Twilight in Chinese if no.’'

 

Grimmjow’s eyes widen and his lips part in surprise. The girl gets irritated by lack of action and tugs at Grimmjow’s leather jacket and whines but Grimmjow grabs her wrists, shutting her off.

 

He stares at Ichigo for any signs of a joke but Ichigo glares back at his senior, completely serious.

 

Then Grimmjow’s shoulders start to rattle and then he’s laughing.

 

‘’What the- What the _actual fuck. Lord.’’_

 

Ichigo relaxes a bit and allows a smile to take care of his lips. At least he didn’t make Grimmjow angry or disgusted at him.

 

Grimmjow lifts his gaze and stares playfully at Ichigo, a corner of his lip turned up and Ichigo is so lost in the blue, so lost in the emotion. He’s so lost.

 

Grimmjow lets go of the girl’s wrist and tells her, ‘’I’m not available anymore, my bad.’’

 

And before the girl can protest, he steps forward and looks down at Ichigo who is a head shorter.

 

They just look at each other, Ichigo’s heart threatening to burst at the seams because Grimmjow is staring right into his eyes. Never in his life did Ichigo think that Grimmjow would return his gaze.

 

He vaguely registers the stomp of high heels and a frustrated huff before he realizes they are all alone.

 

‘’Um.’’ He says, because he wants to know Grimmjow’s answer now that he believes there might be at least a point above a zero percent chance at being with Grimmjow.

 

_I don’t want to stop looking at him._

 

‘’So. Kurosaki Ichigo. I saw you playing truth or dare out there, is this a prank?’’

 

‘’No.’’ He says, a little out of breath.

 

It hitches when Grimmjow’s fingers gather his and he feels a bit shy and falters his eyes to Grimmjow’s jaw before glancing up.

 

‘’Then are you serious about the confession?’’

 

‘’Yes.’’ He looks down at Grimmjow’s collarbones as Grimmjow leans in. He breathes in Grimmjow’s cologne and his knees almost give out.

 

He wants to beg for more for some reason.

 

_What is more?_

 

‘’Then,’’ Grimmjow intertwines their fingers, ‘’I accept.’’

 

Ichigo shuts his eyes tight, blood rushing _everywhere._

 

_So unbelievable!_

 

‘’Are you serious?’’ He asks softly.

 

‘’You don’t see me getting ready to swim across the pacific while reciting the twilight in Chinese now do you?’’

 

Ichigo bites back a silly smile, ‘’No.’’

 

‘’So yes. I’ll be your boyfriend, Ichigo.’’

 

_And I will be yours and yours and yours._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many of you want a M rated epilogue?


	12. #13.

''Fuck, Grimmjow, bend down a little.'' Ichigo demands as he stands on his tip toes, hands grabbing roughly into my navy blue tie and pulling me down to his level, his lips hungry when they meet mine, his teeth biting at my lower lip and pushing his tongue into my mouth.

I indulge him and slide down the school store room door, Ichigo coming down with me, lips licking and sucking bruises into my skin as he straddles me, firm thighs fitting comfortably around my pelvis.

His hands wander as they pull at my tie and pop open the first few buttons of my shirt while my hands travels to his waist, keeping him balanced in my lap. He mouths along my jaw and proceeds to leave noisy, open mouthed kisses across my jugular and collarbones.

''You were,'' he pants hotly before coming up to steal a sloppy kiss, his hands playing with the tips of my ears and hips rolling down against mine and into mine at a pleasantly slow pace, ''Were all over-'' another noisy kiss at the corner of my mouth and I groan low when he presses his hips just _right_ , ''All over that Inoue girl, and I-'' He leans back, chocolate eyes shimmering with lust and possessiveness, ''I wanted to- _fuck_ '' he moans, tilting his head back when I roll my hips upwards to meet his downward thrusts, my fingers pressing hard into his hip bones, sure to leave bruises on sensitive skin.

But Ichigo sits up and away from my lap and I groan in confusion, ''You always intentionally try to make me jealous don't you?'' He says, eyes hard, ''I won't allow this,'' he says and pulls out a bottle of lube from his back pocket.

I stare at him as he gets up and strips off his pants and underwear, leaving his white button up to reach his mid-thigh and loosens his tie before he kneels over my lap. He places the bottle of lube on the floor before he takes my left hand and sucks three of my fingers into his mouth, sucking at them obscenely, tongue peeking out between my fingers as he stares through his bangs.

''Fuck, Ichi, what are you doing?'' I ask, moving to touch him but Ichigo slaps my hands away.

''If you want it, then you aren't allowed to touch me.'' He says, voice heavy with lust and takes my fingers back in moaning wantonly around them and I gulp down hard at the sight of his flushed lips around my digits.

He lets them go with a smirk and picks up the bottle of lube before pouring a generous amount on my slick fingers and makes them even more lubricated. I watch with half lidded eyes as Ichigo brings my hand to his ass, ''Don't you fucking dare move your fingers or you will never touch my ass again, Jaegerjaques.'' He warns and slides down on my finger, groaning as he tenses up for a second from the discomfort of intrusion.

My finger is enveloped in warm heat and I groan as Ichigo starts thrusting himself on my finger, his hand coming to grip my shoulder and eyes shut in concentration. He brings one hand up and pushes it under his own shirt, pulling and playing with his nipple while he moans my name.

My eyes are wide and my mouth is open and dry because _fuck_ this was fucking hot. When Ichigo takes in my second finger, I resist the urge to scissor or curl them as I remember his earlier warning and grit my teeth in frustration. This is so bad because Ichigo looks absolutely delicious with his tanned skin flushed a pretty colour and lips parted to let out little whimpers and whines as he rolls his hips to maybe hit that spot on his own-

'' _Ahhh fuck, my G-god._ '' Ichigo moans loudly and puts his own fingers into his mouth to muffle his sounds when he finds his prostrate and I feel like my dick will explode in the next 2 seconds when tears form at the corner of Ichigo's closed eyes while he starts moving harder and makes my fingers go in deeper and deeper.

He takes the third finger and his forehead meets mine, his eyes looking into mine desperately as he moans around my name with need, continuously fucking himself on my fingers and stimulating his prostrate on his own.

''Baby,'' I start, groaning when Ichigo's head falls back, baring his neck with a hard shudder as he just fucks himself harder and deeper and I feel my fingers brush his bundle of nerve every time now, '' _Baby,_ let me touch you.''

''You are- _unn-_ '' he whimpers, his nails scratching on my shoulder, ''you are touching me, baby,''

I'm about to say something but Ichigo spreads his knees wider and buries his nose in my neck, he stops for a moment and lets my fourth finger in, groaning against my skin and his fingers clutch around my shirt. He whimpers and I feel his hole clutching around my digits inside him.

He rolls his hips slowly at first, getting used to the feeling all the while nuzzling his nose against my neck and then he starts bouncing on my hand, his mouth falls open and a tear falls from his eyes from so much stimulation.

''Baby, are you watching me?'' He asks softly, back arching onto my chest when he finds his prostrate again and I gulp, '' You are-'' he pants softly, ''Right?''

''How could I _not?_ Babe, you are driving me so crazy right now.'' I feel a smirk and hum against my neck and a quiet, ''Good,'' before Ichigo picks up his pace and leans away from my torso, his tongue coming out to lick at his dry and kiss swollen lips.

Ichigo fixes his gaze on me and I almost cum when he tilts he head and his eyes fall shut as he pants silently, muttering broken syllables of my name around his tongue. His hands fall to my knees and he bends backwards, ''Harder,'' he moans, ''Deeper, Grimm, Oh _fuck, your fingers feel so good.''_ His fingers cradle his dick and he starts to jerk himself off in quick successions. 

It happens slowly, Ichigo picks up his pace and his moans reach a higher pitch and he stutters with chocked whines, his ass cheeks meet my knuckles harder and I watch in an almost painful awe as Ichigo arches his back beautifully. His hand moves faster and faster, heat coils in my stomach and I just want to _touch._ But I also want to see how far he takes himself and I watch with lust and possessiveness over my boyfriend, as he opens his eyes and fixes his gaze with mine, and then he's coming.

My mouth falls open as I feel his hole clenching and unclenching around my fingers and his breath his halted, his watery brown gaze never leaving mine while I watch amazed as he still continues to roll his hips slowly through his orgasm, hips stuttering and body jerking.

His lips tremble from over stimulation and he leans in for an indulging kiss, and it burns where our lips meet and his fingers touch my cheeks.

He leans back, eyes lidded and drowsy, chest heaving and I notice belatedly, that mine was too. He smiles lazily, eyes twinkling and I chase his lips for another kiss but he puts a finger over my lips.

''Wait.'' He says and slowly lifts himself up and off my fingers, chest jerking and thighs quivering in the most delicious way as a whimper leaves his mouth from being so sensitive post-orgasm.

He stands up on wobbly legs looking out of it before he moves towards his pants and dresses quickly. I'm still stuck confused by his actions, ignoring my sore wrist until he heads to the door and I panic, ''Ichi, where the hell are you going?

He turns back, ''I'm done so I'm leaving.''

''What the _fuck-''_

''My answer.'' He says with a wink, ''If you try to make me jealous ever again, I'll blue ball you every time, you fucker. Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you.''

He opens the door and is out before Grimmjow knows it.


	13. #14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fantasy AU

"I want to look inside." Grimmjow says one morning. Ichigo stares at him bewildered.

"Where...?" he asks warily.

Grimmjow steps up and with a hand's distance separating them, he kneels down.

Ichigo hurriedly takes a step back. "Grimmjow-- what, get up, wh--"

"Let me see your memories." Ichigo trembles.

"I-I can't, ask me something else, anything, I will give you _anything_. "

"I want to see your memories."

"Grimmjow!"

"Why not?"

Ichigo trembles more and he puts both of his hands on Grimmjow's arms, pulling the young king up to his feet.

"You know why." Ichigo whispers.

"No. I don't."

"Don't be stubborn! You know full well how _morbid_ your wish is, you know, and this is very unbecoming of a king."

Grimmjow's gaze is sharp. "You mean very unbecoming of a human."

Ichigo feels as if he has been slapped.

"Although you are the one who claims that all beings are equal--"

"--Yes, however there are certain limits." and Ichigo starts to walk away. Grimmjow follows him, unrelenting.

"Those limits don't hinder me. Ichigo, you _know_ that I'm different."

Ichigo picks up his pace. He walks into the balcony connecting to the library and light showers his form with brilliance. It's as if time stops still and Grimmjow's breath catches for the millionth time since he has met the man.

"You let me speak your name. You consider my interests. You allow me to deny you of things. Grimmjow," Ichigo looks back, his eyes the color of soil touched by the first drops of rain, "You are just a King who craves friendship. That does not separate you from other human beings."

Grimmjow catches up with him and grabs his wrist. He tugs him into the library and presses him into a chair.

"Don't call my name anymore then." He says. "Your opinion doesn't matter to me. You are not allowed to deny me of things."

"My King." Ichigo shudders from an effort to stifle his laughter, "My dearest King. We both know I will disappear this very minute if I am to abide by that last wish."

Grimmjow sighs.

He leans forward, hands on both of the arm rests.

"I want to see. I want to look inside your mind." He speaks and Ichigo's lips part as if he wants to say something but Grimmjow doesn't let him. "I want to open your chest and I want to bend your bones and reach inside. I want to breathe you in, who you are and what makes you, _you_. I want to see what you hold inside. I want--" he gasps, lips brushing against Ichigo's, "I want to love you. I want to love you so much. I want to see every nook, every cranny, and I want to fall all over again. I want to fall in love with you a million times, and then, again. I want to love you forever, I--"

"Grimmjow." Ichigo calls and brushes his fingers against Grimmjow's cheekbone.

"Grimmjow," he says, voice quiet "I have seen horrors. I have seen Humans kill and I have seen my people, from the _other world_ , kill in return and I remember every second of it. I cannot subject you to that, I will never be able to forgive myself."

There is a sheen of tears formed over Grimmjow's eyes.

"Oh Grimmjow," Ichigo coos, "I love you too." He presses a thumb into Grimmjow's skin, "I love you so much. Maybe someday," he presses his lips against Grimmjow's fully for a brief second and they both breathe in, as if they forgot how to, prior to that, "someday," he opens his eyes and stares into a Universe of blue skies and oceans. Stars studded milkyways and the most precious pixie gems, "someday when I'm crumbling, someday when I forget how to live, someday when I forget myself, I will show you. Right now, this," he kisses him again, "This is all I need to stay sane. You are all I need. And I need you to stay sane as well."

Grimmjow places his hand over Ichigo's.

He frowns deeply, a part of his heart cracking.

"I know I'm not strong enough." Grimmjow mutters into Ichigo's palm.

Ichigo leans up and kisses his cheek.

"Bearing this is not a strength."

"I want to be there for you."

"But you already are."

"This isn't enough."

" _You_  are enough."

"I'm not."

"You are wonderful. I love you."

Grimmjow's eyes are sad.

"Sad King. You were sad when I met you too. Don't be sad anymore."

Grimmjow nods into Ichigo's hands.

"Don't be sad. I love you too much to let you look into my memories."

"I love you too much to let you bear them on your own.

"Grimmjow....." The king looks up and smiles. He looks worn out and Ichigo's chest tightens painfully.

"I understand. For now. So don't frown. I hate seeing you frown."

Ichigo chuckles deeply.

"Alright."

Grimmjow stands up.

"Want me to read you a book?"

Ichigo smiles. "Yes." His eyes crinkle and there's a tinkle in his voice.

Grimmjow smiles in return. "Okay."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shh, Idk what this is supposed to be either. I was listening to Chainsmokers' Inside Out.


	14. #15.

''Why do you have a bruise under your eye?'' Grimmjow asks me on a Tuesday evening.

I don't glance at him.

''Go home.''

He sits on the grass next to me. I pick out the weeds as per instructions.

I don't glance at him.

''Does it hurt?'' His voice is soft, but not unsure.

It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts so much that I can't forget about it's darned existence, and it won't stop breathing on my cheek.

''No.''

''Liar.'' I throw a handful of the wild plant at the ground forcefully. I won't touch him in any way, not after the last time.

''School's over. Go. Home.'' 

He sniffs next to me, damn kid. Just a brat. ''Or what, you will beat me up, like last time?''

My eye twitches. ''Yeah. I will. And this time,'' I glare at him, '' _Harder._ ''

I get back to work. ''They gave you punishment, they hardly do. Did you beat up someone important?''

''Damn, kid, stop pestering me.'' I growl, tugging at the stubborn roots with gritted teeth.

''Was it a third year? Your class rep? He looks stuck up to me.''

I snort. ''He is.''

Grimmjow gasps, ''You hit an Ishida?!'' I look over at him and his messy blue hair falling all over his forehead. His eyes are twinkling despite the supposed shock his voice is meant to carry.

''No...'' I tell him after a while, ''No, I did not.''

Grimmjow hums, and then he's silent. He sits there for minutes as I continue my task until I can't ignore his presence.

''Listen here,'' I tell him in warning, ''I don't know what you want, but I wasn't lying when I told you I will beat you up. _Scram_.'' 

Grimmjow looks at me with his knees pressed up to his chest and his arms encasing them. His head is tilted and his teeth dig into his bottom lip. His eyes hold a curiosity that I don't understand.

But it was always like this, this kid, this brat, he always follows me around, and that day when I beat him up, I remember so vividly, so clearly as I made his face bleed and he had stared at me with the same searching eyes and I felt like he was stripping me naked.

''Hit me then.'' He slowly lifts his head up. I scowl at him. ''Hit me then, come on. Go at it, senpai.''

I turn my head sharply to the ground. Of course I can't hit him, I can't have him looking at me with those eyes again. He looks at me as if-- as if--

A hand grabs my wrist and he pulls. My eyes widen and anger kisses my temple. 

I lift my other hand, I fold my fingers into a familiar fist and my knuckles crash against his cheek. Grimmjow falls back on his ass but he doesn't let go of my wrist.

He uses his arm as a support to sit up. and he tries to pull me to him, but I keep my feet fixed to the ground.

''Let go, asshole, I'll kill you.'' I tell him with so much venom in my tone. But Grimmjow doesn't budge, and instead, he leans in.

I jerk back but his grip on my wrist tightens, ''Grimmjow.'' I warn him and he looks at me.

He looks at me and I feel as if-- as if--

He wants to fuck me. I feel as if he wants to strip me naked, tie my limbs, and fuck me. 

I don't make a move, so paralysed by the thought of this boy's hunger for me and my dirt kissed fists.

He leans in and places his lips against mine, pushes those lips against mine, and my anger is a simmering silence in my head.

I feel oddly disappointed because I know I have nothing that this boy is looking for.

When I don't move, he pulls back. When I don't kiss him, he pulls back.

He pulls back and my eyes flicker to the reddening skin under his eye.

''Huh,'' he says, ''I knew you were a liar. It does hurt.''

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	15. #16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy reading this~

''Hey G, if there was only one day left to live, what would you be doing?''

 

Grimmjow has never liked dating to be honest. His girlfriend, with her short cropped hair, red cherry lips, and unusually curious eyes looks up at him expectantly.

 

''I don't know.'' He answers.

 

She pouts, and it does make her look more pretty than childish, than someone who was denied of something.

 

''G, I think we need to break up.''

 

This time he looks at her, actually holds eye contact. He blinks. ''Why?''

 

''You know why.''

 

He does.

 

''I....okay.'' He resigns, biting his lip. He feels like he got caught. But he realizes his emotions and intentions had always been an open secret anyhow.

 

''Okay. So this is good bye.'' She gets up.

 

As usual, Grimmjow doesn't offer to walk her home.

 

 

 

 

Grimmjow returns to his apartment, and before he could unlock the door, it is forced open.

 

Bright brown eyes stare at him. Grimmjow takes a step back.

 

''How was your date?'' The other man asks, voice layered carefully in artificial excitement.

 

''We broke up.'' Grimmjow watches as the other man lowers his eyes guiltily, his lips tremble, like he was about to cry.

 

''It wasn't. I treated her good this....time.''

 

''Liar.''

 

Grimmjow looks down, almost guilty.

 

''Come in.'' 

 

Grimmjow walks into the apartment quickly, closing the door behind him. 

 

Ichigo walks further in, and into his bedroom. Grimmjow follows silently.

 

He rarely enters the other man's room, but whenever he does, it's an entirely new experience.

 

This time, Grimmjow spots a large bottle with a carefully crafted miniature ship fitted inside, mounted on the wall. The brown paint has uncountable scratches made on it.

 

His eyes travel to the numerous glass shards sprinkled over the ground underneath and he gulps, looks at Ichigo's hands who is sitting on the bed with fear filled eyes.

 

Thankfully, his hands are clear of any red spots and bandages.

 

The bed sheets are a fluffy sky blue this time. And paper stars hand from the ceiling, holding small bulbs inside.

 

Grimmjow looks beside the bed to see new paint cans.

 

Finally, his eyes land on Ichigo.

 

Ichigo isn't looking at him, but at the ceiling, the small stars that illuminate the small dark room like they are something extremely precious, and Grimmjow looks at Ichigo's twinkling eyes feeling the same.

 

''Why are you so adamant on hurting yourself, Grimmjow?''

 

He has heard this question so many times already. He has only one answer every time.

 

''I couldn't fall in love with her.''

 

Ichigo's eyes fall on him like knives scratching at his bones, ''Did you even try?''

 

Grimmjow's heart wails in his chest, and he bites on his lip hard enough to draw blood. 

 

He chooses not to answer to a question as insensitive as this.

 

He blinks, once, twice, thrice, and he still cannot stop the tears from rolling down his cheek. He turns around hastily, heading for the door.

 

 

 

 

A hand closes around his wrist and he hears a pain filled 'sorry' leave from his lover's lips.

 

''No.'' Grimmjow chokes, ''I will never forgive you.'' He shakes his wrist away from Ichigo's hand and walks out of the room.

 

He falls into his own bed across the hallway after shedding his jacket.

 

 

 

 

A warm body hugs his from behind, and the bed dips under both their weights. Grimmjow closes his eyes and doesn't turn around to hold him back.

 

''Grimmjow...I'm so sorry.'' Ichigo whispers against his skin.

 

Grimmjow curves into himself, away from the other man.

 

He hears a harsh exhale and then the body leaves his. He feels Ichigo sitting on the bed before he gets up and the door to his room his shut after Ichigo leaves.

 

It takes five minutes that feel like hours before Grimmjow gets up and grabs a bottle of beer in the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

There's only silence in the house, and Grimmjow is already on his fifth bottle as he drinks alone while sitting on the kitchen counter.

 

His memories take him to a life not very unlike this one, but where him and Ichigo were lovers who weren't scared of the Universe.

 

He thinks of the few vague memories where he held Ichigo's hand, kissed his soft lips, tasted his skin, and Ichigo looked back at him with so much unbridled love, he felt like he couldn't even breathe.

 

But he remembers another life, when Ichigo cried all the time, whenever he looked at him, whenever he touched him.

 

How he sobbed every time Grimmjow touched his lips, how every 'I love you' shared between them would dim the light in Ichigo's sparkling eyes.

 

And he looks at their present lives, years and years- centuries after their last one- that which he remembers, he knows Ichigo remembers many more- maybe all of them- and now, how Ichigo forces him to love another.

 

While he knew Grimmjow never knows how to.

 

 

 

 

Willing his body to move without stumbling, he slowly opens the door to Ichigo's room and slips inside.

 

 

 

Ichigo isn't surprised to see him, but he does frown when he sees how drunk Grimmjow is.

 

''I....I can't just. You. Ichigo, you can't expect me to just.'' He stutters, his unclear mind tries to conjure up words to express his mind, but fails miserably.

 

But Ichigo understands, he always does. He smiles softly, and extends his arms.

 

Tears well up in Grimmjow's eyes and he falls right into his embrace on the bed. Ichigo softly runs his fingers through his hair while tears stream down his cheeks.

 

''I'm sorry but I'm not like you.'' he says in between wheezes, and he feels Ichigo's grip on his arm tighten. ''I can't remember how we used to be, I don't know. I don't-'' 

 

Ichigo murmurs something into his ears to stop his babbling, but he can't comprehend them, instead, he holds on to the other man tighter, and hopes the tremors wreaking his body apart would stop.

 

 

 

 

 

They don't stop. But now Ichigo is holding his hand as they lie side-by-side, staring at the stars hanging from the ceiling.

 

''Tell me,'' he whispers in a hoarse voice, and Ichigo hums, assuring him that he is listening, ''Tell me about this life.''

 

The hand in Grimmjow's starts to tremble, and he squeezes it and turns his head to look at Ichigo. ''I'm drunk.'' He says and Ichigo fixes him with a look of regret, of pain, of guilt, ''I won't remember in the morning even if you tell me.''

 

Ichigo stays silent and Grimmjow finds himself mouthing a promise he isn't sure he can keep, ''I won't remember.''

 

 

 

 

Ichigo's eyes are half lidded, and unfocused. As if he were drunk himself. 

 

Nearly half an hour passes, but neither of them can keep count.

 

Finally-

 

 

 

''I don't know when exactly,'' Ichigo's familiar voice sounds far away, his eyes are on the stars, while Grimmjow stares at him. ''But it's not this century. We were on a shore.''

 

''I wasn't interested in the stars, you were,'' Ichigo looks at him, searching, before he turns away, ''In that lifetime. You took me to the sea to show them to me.''

 

''You told me all about them, you were so in love, and I was so in love with you, and then you kissed me, and you told me you loved me.''

 

Tears start to fall from Grimmjow's eyes silently, ''That night, I told you I loved you too. The next morning, you went on a voyage and told me you would be gone for a month.''

 

He squeezes Grimmjow's hands, ''For knowledge,'' Ichigo's voice doesn't tremble, and Grimmjow thinks maybe it did once upon a time, when in another life Grimmjow had foolishly asked him the story behind all the scattered memories surrounding Ichigo's home, but not anymore. It doesn't tremble but-

 

''You never returned.''

 

-It sounds numb.

 

Grimmjow buries his head in Ichigo's neck and sobs in the memory of Ichigo's broken heart.

 

 

 

 

 

''When we love, you die. When I kiss you, tell you I--'' Ichigo sighs, ''You die.''

 

''But we meet, in every life, and in every life, only I remember everything.'' Ichigo's always gentle with his touches, the way he wipes away the tears on Grimmjow's face, ''I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to lose the one thing I treasure more than myself. Even if it means-'' He holds Grimmjow's head against his ribs, ''-we can't have each other.''

 

It is a concept out of Grimmjow's perception, having to experience your lover die on you so many times, knowing it's something inevitable, and living in constant fear. It's something unimaginable to him.

 

But when he looks up and sees the tired circles under Ichigo's beautiful eyes, sees how dim they get whenever he comes home with his head hung, his entire being trembles in pain.

 

 

 

 

Eventually, Grimmjow gets up when Ichigo's phone rings and he already knows who's on the other end.

 

Someone who can call Ichigo so late at night, someone- ''Hey. What's up, babe?'' -Someone who- ''Nothing, was reading, '' And someone who -''Yes yes, of course I love you, you idiot.''

 

 

 

 

Grimmjow shuts the door quietly after himself, holding onto the words of 'You are precious to me' that Ichigo caressed onto his skin for hours, and slips into his sheets once again.

 

 

 

 

 

_''Hey G, if there was only one day left to live, what would you be doing?''_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. #17. A thought is one amongst a million

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys not a grimmichi this time. I will be happy if u still give it a read tho! Maybe I'll make a Grimmy solo one shot too sometime. Thank you for reading!!!!!!

Ichigo doesn't know when it starts, but he knows he is annoyed when he gets up to check if he has locked the door and placed the keys right next to the flower vase for the fourth time that night.

 

He is not forgetful, he is just a nineteen year old who has just started to live alone. He works part time at a cafe and attends university. He studies hard and pays attention in all his classes.

 

He is smart. He was never clumsy. And he knows this better than anyone.

 

But when he gets up for the fifth time that night despite knowing that the damn door is locked and the damned keys are placed next to the flower vase just because the number four signifies death, his joints are aching and his mind is his own prey begging him for mercy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One night, his heart begins to beat too fast. This is induced by a thought.

 

Maybe......I have OCD.

 

It makes sense. He has irrational thoughts which need to be fulfilled or else. Or else something will happen and. And he can't sleep. And. And his heart is too fast for his body to relax and. And is the door locked? Are the keys next to the vase?

 

It makes him stay on edge. The worst part is that he has no one to talk to. He knows this is a very illogical diagnosis to assume without professional help. He ought to take precautions.

 

His friends are mentally ill. It isn't uncommon. Many people are ill. It's sickening. But he knows it's only natural when every single one of us is a monster. Some more gullible than the others.

 

Some look at other cannibals having a piece of them and decide to have a taste for themselves. 

 

_Hey do I really taste that good?_

 

But. But. He _couldn't_. It would be such a drag to have OCD. His life will have stuttering pauses. He decides to shove the thoughts down. The less he entertains them, and the less he acknowledges their presence, the better it is for him. 

 

And just for the sake of being on the safe side, he will go to his doctor. And if he does have the beginnings to a mental illness, he will be on the safe side. He doesn't want to have a messed up mind.

 

_But can a person have a mental illness if they don't desire any characteristic pertaining to it in the first place?_

This thought is a recurring theme. But Ichigo has busier things to attend to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It happens when he sits down to eat. It's horrible. He had seen photos of people with eating disorders. How horrible. How is that pretty? How horrible the mind can be. How _ruthless_.

 

His stomach is full. Maybe it's because he hasn't done much work this week. It was spring break, and his cafe's owner's daughter was getting married so he had work off. 

 

He has been at home. Did nothing. Watched TV. So he doesn't have much appetite.

 

But his gut wrenches when his mind speaks and his eyes burn and his ears are ringing and his heart hurts and maybe you have an e a t i n g  d i s o r d e r and and _and_

 

_Maybe that is why you don't want to eat._

He forces the remaining bites down his throat just to prove his thoughts wrong. Just to prove whatever thought it is in his head wrong. He won't. He _won't_. He won't entertain them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

His door is locked. He smiles because his sense of humor is keeping him alive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You fear losing your mind." The doctor tells him. Ichigo doesn't talk much at all. Right now the doctor is his messiah. "You are ignoring all things important around you. You keep thinking you want to die---"

 

The doctor smiles and Ichigo realizes he isn't dying at all. 

 

"---Of course, not physically. But mentally. You want it to end. Your mind is bullying you."

 

Ichigo smiles. He shrugs. And he is unsure but he thinks he has found something he has been missing. He had never considered this.

 

_Your mind is bullying you._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next time his mind tells him he doesn't eat to stay thin, he allows it to occupy his mind. And he allows it to leave.

 

He leaves the last two bites because his stomach his full.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He still gets up to check on the locked door and the keys next to the vase, but it's once or twice. Only because his heart is trained to beat faster. But he's sure he can retrain it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
